How Do You Overcome the Fear of Failure? 9 Strategies to Overcome Atychiphobia

Why Am I Scared of Failure?

You might know that your fear is irrational. “Failure is a good thing,” you might coach yourself. “It’s a chance to learn and grow.” But deep down, you can’t shake the feeling that failure will only lead to disaster.

Where do these deep-seated feelings of fear come from? There are many possible causes, including:

• Perfectionism – Holding yourself to unrealistic standards and fearing any mistake or imperfection can lead to a fear of failure. 
• Harsh criticism in childhood – Growing up with overly critical parents, teachers, or authority figures may lead one to believe that failure is a direct reflection of their worth or is a sign of imminent disaster. 
• Low self-esteem – Doubting your abilities and expecting poor outcomes can lead to fear of failure because you take the failure as confirmation of all the worst thoughts of yourself, instead of a natural part of the learning and growing process. 
• Past trauma – Trauma can lead to low self-esteem, critical self-image, depression, and anxiety, all of which can contribute to fear of failure. Also, people who have experienced a trauma often want to avoid similar situations from ever happening again, and may think that by avoiding failure, they can avoid another traumatic event. 
• High expectations from others – Undue pressure to succeed from family, peers, or society can cause the fear of failure to develop. 
• Fear of judgment or rejection – People who are highly sensitive to criticism may fear failure not because of the failure, but because of their disappointment, anger, or negative image that comes with failing. 
• Other mental health issues – Generalized anxiety or performance anxiety can intensify fear around failing, as can OCD, ADHD, and depression. 

These are not the only causes. A therapist can help you get to the root of the issue. 

Is Fear of Failure a Symptom of OCD?

It can be. Fear of failure can be a symptom of certain types of OCD, such as Perfectionism OCD or Responsibility OCD. In these cases, the fear of failure will look like strong, unwanted thoughts, urges, or images about failure and corresponding behaviors to negate or prevent those thoughts from occurring. For example, being afraid of failing as a parent and having obsessive, looping thoughts about how your child will grow up damaged or unhappy because of your behaviors, so you obsessively check on their sleeping and monitor their growth and health to an extreme and all-consuming point. 

How Do You Overcome the Fear of Failure?

One of the most powerful ways to heal from a phobia is using Exposure Therapy. 

Exposure Therapy is a type of therapy method in which you are slowly introduced to the object of your fear in a safe environment. You are then taught different coping mechanisms to calm your body and accept the trigger. 

You can use similar techniques to overcome the fear of failure. For example, try these coping skills for a week and see how you feel: 

• Redefine failure – What does failure mean to you? Can you give it a narrower definition, so as to view failure as a learning opportunity rather than a negative outcome? Try out this new definition in the real world. 
• Set realistic goals – Break big goals into small, achievable steps to build confidence gradually. With every step, celebrate. Try to avoid all-or-nothing thinking by treating each small goal as its own challenge. If you fail one, that doesn’t mean you fail all of them. 
• Challenge negative thoughts – Identify and reframe fear-based thinking with more balanced, rational thoughts. For example, “If I fail, I’ll never get another opportunity like this, and then I’ll lose my job!” This is a cognitive distortion called catastrophizing. Instead, replace it with a neutral and true thought, “If I fail, I’ll have to discuss what went wrong with my boss and try again.” 
• Develop a growth mindset – Believe that abilities can improve with effort, learning, and persistence. By reframing failure into an opportunity to grow, nothing feels quite like a failure. 
• Celebrate progress – If fighting the fear of failure feels too risky, then start by celebrating success. Acknowledge small wins and the courage to try, even if things don’t go perfectly.
• Learn from past setbacks – Reflect on past failures to identify lessons and strengths gained. Put into practice the mindset that failures are learning opportunities. 
• Surround yourself with support – Talk to encouraging friends, mentors, or therapists who help you stay grounded. Find people who make you better, but who never make you feel small.
• Practice mindfulness and stress reduction – Techniques like meditation, deep breathing, or journaling can help manage anxiety when you fail. These feelings are normal, so focus on processing them and letting them run their course without panicking. 
• Practice self-compassion – What can you do to show yourself love today? Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned; treat yourself like you would a friend.

Finally, talking to a therapist is important in overcoming a fear of failure. Fear of failure is linked to many mental health disorders, which may need treatment from a mental health specialist. 

For people with a severe fear of failure, medication can also help. Medication can address underlying issues and help you get anxiety and fear under control so you can begin to make real changes. 

Contact Lifebulb to be scheduled with a therapist near you. 

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