May 5, 2025
We all want to be happy. But happiness seems to be becoming more and more elusive. How can you make yourself happier? How can you stay happy to begin with?
Although happiness is a good thing to feel, one of the first steps to becoming happier is realizing that you won’t feel happy all the time, and that’s okay! Sadness, anger, grief, and discomfort have their places in our lives. Happiness all the time can be just as unhealthy as sadness all the time.
Learning how to embrace the lessons each emotion gives us is important, but for now, let’s focus on how to be happier. We’ve broken it down into 7 steps to happiness.
1. Build a Healthy Routine
Our minds are connected to our bodies. When our body is happy, we’re happy. This means it’s important to have good, holistic physical health.
- Exercise
Exercise is known to increase mood and protect you from bad moods in the future. It releases what’s called “endorphins”, which are feel-good chemicals that give you a sense of euphoria. Exercise is also a great mindfulness technique that can increase gratefulness and your sense of connectedness.
You don’t have to commit to five days in the gym to get the benefits of exercise. Try going for a walk outside once a day, and see how it feels. Take a dance class or go hiking on the weekends. Find a way to move your body that feels good to you.
- Get plenty of sunlight
Vitamin D, a crucial vitamin delivered by the sun (amongst other things), is important for balanced well being. Without a good amount of vitamin D, you’ll start to feel fatigued and sad. So if you’re feeling down, sit outside for a while.
- Regulate your sleep schedule
A healthy sleep schedule and positive mood have been linked in many scientific studies. The fact is without a healthy sleep schedule you’ll struggle to maintain a positive mood throughout your day. How much sleep do you need? And when should you be going to bed? Every person varies. Aim to get 7.5 hours of sleep and see how you feel. Adjust as necessary.
- Eat well
Healthy foods that give you good, sustainable energy are also important when seeking happiness. Eating well doesn’t mean never eating sugar, but rather eating mindfully and focusing on giving your body what it needs. In the morning, this might mean more protein, whereas carbs might be necessary mid-work day, and a sweet treat warranted at night. Use your intuition and listen to your body.
2. Build a Community
Our support system consists of the people we love and trust. Having a strong support system is a big protective factor against mental health. This means that people who have strong, healthy relationships in their life are less likely to develop mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety. Use these tips to build a healthy community.
- Hang out with friends
Plan a night at least monthly to hang out with friends. This doesn’t have to be something big, just something that makes you feel connected and loved. Be there for each other and lean on one another when you need help.
- Try something new
Building a community can be exciting! Go to a new exercise class and introduce yourself to the person next to you. Try out the local theater. Find something new and try it out. You might be surprised by the people you meet.
- Find a third space
A “third space” is a space that is not home or work where you can relax and connect with others. It can be hard to find a quality third space in many American cities, so seek one out with intention. This could be a library, coffee shop, or gym. This is a place you can come and be with people without having to be social. Simply being around others can lift your mood.
- Volunteer in your community
Humans are social creatures, and this means that we feel the best when we’re engaging in our community. Finding a place to volunteer is a great way to lift your mood while giving back to your community. As an added bonus, it’s common to find friends and other long-term relationships at places you volunteer.
3. Live By Your Values
If you’re frequently unhappy, it may be because you’re not living according to your values. In therapy, specifically Acceptance and Commitment therapy, we are taught to act as our values would have us, not how we feel in the moment. For example, if your anger wants you to yell at someone, but you value kindness, then you’ll pursue a conversation instead.
Living according to your values can give you a sense of purpose and life satisfaction, both things linked to greater happiness and well-being. Here’s how to start living according to your values.
- Write down your values.
What are traits and actions most meaningful to you? Write them down somewhere you’ll remember to revisit. This list may include loyalty, kindness, hard work, spontaneity, creativity, or fun, just to name a few.
- Find activities that align with each of them.
With your list, find activities that empower your values. Could you plan a trip? Volunteer? Call a friend? Start a budget? These activities can be big, or they can be small, like keeping your space tidy, saying hello to your coworker every morning, or ending the night with reading instead of scrolling on your phone.
- Journal.
What if you don’t know what your values are? Journaling can help. If you don’t like to write or type, try talking out loud, either to yourself or a trusted friend. Work out what traits make you feel good about yourself or what traits you value in others. From this list, trim it down to a handful of values that you want to exemplify in your daily life.
4. Declutter
A messy, dirty space is not conducive to happiness. Studies show that a decluttered home or office increases productivity and happiness. It’s not the most fun way to generate happiness, but it is effective.
- Declutter your space
The first step is to do a big clean of your space. Start with the trash, going room to room with a trash bin. Then declutter, putting everything where it’s supposed to be. Wipe down the counters. Finally, sweep, mop, and vacuum the floors. Don’t forget to clean your bathroom too! Open a window while you clean and put on your favorite music.
- Declutter your mind with a social media diet
It’s not just our space that need to be decluttered from time-to-time! When was the last time you went a full day without checking your social media accounts? Going on a “digital detox” or a “social media diet” can be helpful in resetting your brain. If you find yourself reaching for your phone often, try going a day without it.
- Declutter your to-do list
Sometimes, we need a “GSD day”— “get stuff done” day. Feeling overwhelmed is an easy way to stop feeling happy, so dedicate a day to trimming down your to-do list. Start with the tasks that take the least amount of time. Spend 20 minutes doing them, and then take a 10 minute break. Continue this cycle until your to-do list is completed or feels better managed.
5. Pursue Personal Goals
We’re not talking about finance goals or fitness goals. What are those “fun” goals that you’ve put off because you don’t have time. Have you ever wanted to learn a new sport or craft? Start a chicken coop in your backyard? Build out an old car?
What would it take to start those goals? Make a plan, and set some deadlines. Life is more than working; making sure you have an enriching hobby life is important for overall happiness.
- Make a list.
What are the things you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t? Now is the time!
- Consider what’s possible.
What are your financial limitations? Physical and time constraints? If you can’t do the full extent of your goal, what elements of it can you accomplish?
- Break the goal down into smaller milestones.
Once you have an achievable goal, break it down into smaller milestones.
- Celebrate victories!
Every time you hit one of those milestones, celebrate! You’re doing a great job and improving your mental health.
6. Take care of your mental health
Being happy means taking care of your mental health. If you’re struggling, talking to a therapist can help.
- Gratitude journal
Gratitude has been linked to greater happiness. A gratitude journal is something you can try if you struggle with staying happy. Every day, write something new that you’re grateful for. Try not to repeat things. At first, you’ll probably do all the basics—the sun, your family, a roof over your head, good food, etc. —but eventually you’ll find you’ll have to search and notice the smaller things—the softness of your favorite blanket, the smell of dawn, or long showers, for example. Being mindful of these small things that bring you happiness is what a gratitude journal is all about.
- Self-care
Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and chocolates, although it definitely can be. The goal of self-care is to re-energize yourself so you can go out and be in a community, chasing your dreams, and being happy again. If a complex skin care routine rejuvenates you, then go for it. But if it sounds like more work than it’s worth, try finding your own self care routine. This might mean a long walk in the woods or talking with a friend. If you don’t know where to start, check out this guide on how to build a self-care routine that fits your values and lifestyle.
Think of self-care in terms of energizing instead of relaxing. What gives you energy? Sometimes it might be sitting on the couch, but other times it might be moving your body.
- See a therapist
None of these tips will fix depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses. They’ll definitely help and are good coping skills to have on hand, but mental health issues like these require professional help through therapy or psychiatry.
7. Re-Evaluate often
Is something not working? Do you do all of these but still feel unhappy? It’s time to reevaluate. Humans grow and change as time passes. The hobbies that used to bring you joy may not anymore. Values you once held tightly no longer feel as important. Reconsider what happiness means to you and how you achieve it. Make sure your actions align with your values. Make goals for yourself.
Why do I struggle to stay happy?
Sometimes, a mental illness stands in the way of us and happiness. If you are depressed, anxious, or recovering from trauma, happiness can feel out of reach. In these cases, sunlight and friends may not be enough to sustain happiness. (Although they are good habits to keep when you are struggling with your mental health.)
When you’re struggling with a mental health disorder, special treatment may be required. This includes medication, in some cases, or therapy. Talk to a Lifebulb therapist today about how counseling can help you become happier.
