15 ways to Support a Partner Who's Depressed

Is your partner depressed?

Depression can manifest in different ways for different people, but some common symptoms include:

• Persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness,
• Loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed
• Changes in appetite and sleep patterns,
• Low energy,
• Difficulty concentrating
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt.

Supporting a partner with depression can be challenging, but it's important to remember it is not your fault. Depression has many causes, including genetic, brain chemicals, and negative life expereinces. It is not you who is causing them to feel depressed. In fact, by loving them, you're probably a huge help. But, as anyone with depression knows, love alone will not cure depression. It's not your fault your partner is depressed and it's not your job to "save" them either. All you can do is support them and be there for them when they need it. 

Also, it can help to encourage your partner to go to depression therapy. Counseling is highly effective in treating depression, and it can widen their support system. Sometimes it's hard to get enough energy to leave the house when you have depression, much less be present for a therapy session. Support their mental health by driving them to appointments and encouraging them to keep going. 

Being patient, avoiding judgment, and maintaining a positive attitude can also help your partner feel supported and understood. It's important to take care of yourself while supporting a partner with depression, as it can be challenging and draining. Practicing self-care, setting boundaries, and seeking support when you need it can help you be there for your partner while also taking care of your own well-being.

Can a relationship work if one person is depressed?

Yes! It may be hard, but it is more than possible to have a fulfilling, loving relationship with someone who is struggling with depression. Their depression does not define them, and it does not define your relationship. If you love them for who they truly are (and they love you), then absolutely, a relationship is possible. 

How To Help A Spouse With Depression

Depression can be a challenge in a relationship. Don't forget to take care of yourself, too. You can't pour from an empty cup. Here are fifteen practical tips to help a spouse with depression. 

1. Encourage them to seek professional help

Encourage your spouse to seek the help of a therapist or psychiatrist. Encouraging someone who is experiencing depression to seek professional help is crucial for their recovery. Depression is a complex illness that requires the attention of a trained mental health professional, and it is not something that can be managed on one's own. If the question of how to help a spouse with depression still arises in your head, you are at the right place. When encouraging your spouse to seek professional help, it is important to approach the topic with empathy and understanding.

For example, "Sweetheart, I've noticed that you've been feeling down a lot lately, and I'm worried about you. I know that depression is a tough thing to deal with on your own, and I think it's important that you get some professional help. There's no shame in seeking treatment for mental health, and it can make a big difference in your overall well-being. Would you be willing to talk to a therapist or psychiatrist about how you're feeling?"

By expressing your concern and emphasizing the importance of seeking professional help, you're showing your spouse that you care about their well-being and want to support them. You're also normalizing the idea of seeking mental health treatment and reminding them that they're not alone in dealing with depression. This approach can help your spouse feel more comfortable and motivated to seek the help they need. This is the direct approach to understanding how to help a partner with depression.

2. Educate yourself

Learn about depression so you can better understand what your spouse is going through and cater in a better way on how to help a spouse with depression. This’ll help you provide better support. Educating yourself about depression is an important step in supporting a spouse who is experiencing the condition. Depression is a complex mental health disorder that can be difficult to understand, and learning more about it can help you provide better support and care for your spouse. Understanding depression and relationships together as a concept can help you a lot. Here are some books to help you with what to do when your partner is depressed.

For example, "I've been doing some research on depression, and I think it might be helpful for us to learn more about the condition. I want to better understand what you're going through so that I can support you more effectively. Would you be open to watching a video or reading an article about depression together?"

By taking the initiative to educate yourself about depression and involving your spouse in the process, you're showing that you care and want to be supportive. You're also taking steps to improve your understanding of the condition, which helps you understand how to help a spouse with depression. This approach can help your spouse feel less alone in their struggles and more supported in their journey towards healing and recovery.

3. Listen without judgment

Listen to your spouse's concerns without judgment or criticism. Let them know that you are there for them and that you want to support them. Listening without judgment is an essential part of supporting a spouse who is experiencing depression. It can be challenging to listen to someone's struggles without offering advice or trying to fix the problem. However, by offering a listening ear and a supportive presence, you can help your spouse feel heard and understood.

For example, "I'm here for you, and I want to hear what you have to say. You don't have to worry about being judged or criticized. What's been on your mind lately? How are you feeling?"

By opening up the conversation in a non-judgmental way and actively listening to what your spouse has to say, you're showing that you care and are willing to support them. This is one of the best ways to start how to deal with a depressed partner. You're creating a safe space where your spouse can feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. By avoiding criticism or judgment and offering validation and empathy, you're helping your spouse feel less alone in their struggles and more supported in their journey towards healing and recovery.

4. Encourage self-care

Encourage your spouse to practice self-care activities such as exercise, eating healthy, and getting enough sleep. Encouraging self-care is an important part of supporting a spouse who is experiencing depression. Depression can take a toll on one's physical health, and self-care can help improve mood, reduce stress, and increase overall well-being. When you think about how to help a spouse with depression, as a supportive spouse, you can encourage your spouse to prioritize self-care activities and make them a part of their daily routine.

For example, "Hey, I know you've been feeling down lately, and I just wanted to remind you how important it is to take care of yourself. Why don't we go for a walk together? I find that it always helps clear my mind and boosts my mood. We can also plan some healthy meals together and set a regular exercise routine. What do you think?"

To understand how to help a spouse with depression, by suggesting self-care activities and making plans together, you're showing your spouse that you care and want to support them. By creating a supportive environment for healthy habits and setting an example, you can help your spouse prioritize self-care activities and improve their overall well-being. Additionally, by doing activities together, you're strengthening your bond and creating opportunities for quality time and connection to know what to do when your partner is depressed.

5. Create a supportive environment

To help a spouse with depression, you can start by reducing stress and tension at home. Encourage your spouse to participate in activities they enjoy. Creating a supportive environment is an essential aspect of helping a spouse cope with depression. It involves creating a space that is conducive to healing, promoting positive emotions, and reducing the likelihood of triggering symptoms of depression. Start your way on how to help a spouse with depression, one way to do this is by reducing stress and tension at home. Reducing stress and tension can involve identifying potential triggers and working to minimize their impact.

For example, "Hey, I know you've been feeling really stressed lately, and I want to help create a more supportive environment at home. What do you think about spending some time this weekend decluttering the living room together? I think it would make the space feel more open and less overwhelming. Also, I know how much you used to enjoy painting - would you like to spend some time this week working on a painting together?"

By acknowledging your spouse's stress and suggesting specific ways to reduce it, you're showing your support and care. By working together to create a more organized living space and encouraging them to participate in enjoyable activities, you're promoting positive emotions and helping to break the cycle of negative thoughts that can worsen depression. This creates a more supportive and positive environment for your spouse, which can help alleviate symptoms and promote overall mental well-being.

6. Help with household tasks

Depression can make even the simplest tasks seem overwhelming. Help your spouse with household tasks to ease their burden. Depression can take a significant toll on a person's energy levels, motivation, and ability to complete even the most basic daily tasks. As a result, household chores and responsibilities can become overwhelming for someone struggling with depression. Offering to help with household tasks is a simple yet effective way to support your spouse through their struggles.

By taking on some of the household tasks, you can help ease your spouse's burden and alleviate some of their stress. You might offer to help with cleaning, cooking, laundry, or other tasks that your spouse finds challenging. Even small gestures like doing the dishes or folding laundry can make a big difference in how your spouse feels and can help alleviate some of the stress associated with day-to-day responsibilities. By taking on some of these tasks, you're demonstrating your support and care, and helping to create a more positive and supportive environment for how to help a spouse with depression.

For example, "Hey, I know you've been feeling overwhelmed lately, and I want to help ease your burden. What do you think about me taking care of the laundry this week? And maybe I can also do some of the cooking so you can relax and recharge after work. I just want you to know that I'm here to support you and help make things a little easier for you."

By offering to take on specific household tasks, you're showing your spouse that you're paying attention to their needs and that you care about their well-being. By alleviating some of the stress and responsibilities associated with daily tasks, you're creating a more supportive environment that can help your spouse feel more at ease and less overwhelmed. This simple yet effective gesture can go a long way in demonstrating how to help a spouse with depression, support and care for your spouse as they navigate their way through depression.

7. Be patient and calm

How to help a spouse with depression is a question you can not just stay calm with, you need to focus on recovery from depression as it takes time. Be patient with your spouse and offer your support throughout the process. Recovery from depression is a complex and often lengthy process that requires time, effort, and patience. As a partner, it's important to understand that your spouse may not be able to recover from depression quickly or easily. Being patient and understanding is crucial in helping them through the process. Depression cannot be cured overnight, and it may take time for your spouse to see progress. And when you think about how to deal with a depressed partner, it's important to remember that recovery is a journey, and there may be setbacks and challenges along the way.

For example, "I know that recovery from depression takes time, and I want you to know that I'm here to support you throughout the process. I understand that there may be setbacks and challenges along the way, and I'm ready to be patient and supportive as you work through them. Remember that there is no timeline for recovery, and we can take things one day at a time. Just know that I love you, and I'm here for you no matter what."

By acknowledging the fact that recovery takes time and showing your willingness to be patient, you're demonstrating your support and understanding for your spouse. You're also creating a safe and supportive environment for them to work through their challenges and setbacks without feeling pressured or judged. This kind of patience and support can be incredibly helpful in facilitating the question of how to help a spouse with depression.

8. Be supportive without being overbearing

Offer your support but don't be overbearing. Your spouse may need space at times when it comes to depression in relationships. When supporting a spouse with depression, it's important to find the right balance between being supportive and being overbearing. While it's important to offer your support and be there for them, it's also important to respect their need for space and autonomy. This is your answer to basically how to help a spouse with depression. Your spouse or partner may need time to themselves or to process their feelings without feeling pressured or overwhelmed by your support. Offering your support in a non-intrusive way can be helpful in maintaining this balance. 

For example, "I want you to know that I'm here to support you through this, but I also understand that you may need space at times. If you ever need to talk or need help with anything, just let me know. I'm happy to help in any way I can. But if you need some time to yourself, that's okay too. Just know that I'm here for you whenever you need me."

By offering your support in this way, you're showing your spouse that you're there for them without being too pushy or overbearing. You're respecting their need for space and autonomy, while still being available if they need you is the best way to cater to how to help a spouse with depression. This kind of non-intrusive support can be incredibly helpful in creating a safe and supportive environment for your spouse's recovery from depression.

9. Encourage social interaction 

Encourage your spouse to interact with friends and family. Social support is important in recovery for how to help a spouse with depression. Infact depression can often lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Encouraging your spouse to interact with friends and family can be an effective way to combat these feelings and provide a valuable source of social support. Social support is an important component of recovery from depression, as it provides individuals with a sense of belonging and connection to others. When it comes to understanding how to deal with a depressed partner, this can help to reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness and provide a sense of comfort and support during difficult times.

For example, "I know it can be tough to reach out to others when you're feeling down, but I think it would be really helpful for you to spend some time with friends or family. Would you like me to help you plan a dinner with your best friend or schedule a family outing for next weekend? I can even come with you if that would make it easier."

By offering an answer on how to help a spouse with depression, plan social activities and offer to attend it with them, you're demonstrating your support for their social interactions. This can help to alleviate any anxiety they may have about reaching out to others and provide them with a sense of comfort and support during these interactions. By encouraging your spouse to interact with friends and family, you're providing them with an opportunity to engage in social activities and connect with others. 

10. Express love and appreciation

Let your spouse know that you love and appreciate them. A little positive reinforcement can go a long way. Expressing love and appreciation for your spouse can help to counteract these negative feelings and provide a sense of validation and support. By expressing your love and appreciation for your spouse, you're acknowledging their worth and demonstrating that you value them. This can help to actually implement how to help a spouse with depression as you boost their self-esteem and provide a sense of comfort and security during difficult times. It can also help to strengthen your relationship and foster a deeper sense of intimacy and connection. A little positive reinforcement can go a long way in supporting your spouse's recovery from depression.

For example, "I just want to let you know how much I love and appreciate you. I know you're going through a tough time right now, but I want you to know that I'm here for you and I'm proud of how strong you are. You've been working so hard to take care of yourself and it really shows. Thank you for all that you do."

By expressing your love and appreciation in this way, you're acknowledging your spouse's efforts and validating their struggle. This can tell you how to help a spouse with depression with the ability to boost their self-esteem and provide them with a sense of comfort and support. It's important to be genuine and specific in your expressions of love and appreciation, as this can help to make your spouse feel truly seen and valued. 

11. Monitor medication

This means that if your spouse has been prescribed medication by a doctor or healthcare professional, it is important to help them keep track of when and how they take their medication. This may involve creating a schedule or reminder system to help them remember to take their medication at the appropriate times and in the correct dosages.

Additionally, you may need to ensure that your spouse is following any special instructions or precautions related to their medication, such as taking it with food or avoiding certain activities while taking the medication. By monitoring your spouse's medication regimen, you can help ensure that they receive the full benefits of their treatment and minimize the risk of any negative side effects or complications. Let's say your spouse has been prescribed medication to manage their high blood pressure. The doctor has advised them to take one pill every morning with food. To help your spouse stay on track with their medication regimen, you might:

By monitoring your spouse's medication regimen and helping them stay on track, you can help them manage their high blood pressure effectively and prevent any complications.

12. Attend therapy sessions

If your spouse is attending therapy, offer to attend a session with them as a part of your initiative towards how to help a spouse with depression. This can help you better understand the treatment process. When a person seeks therapy, it's typically to address personal or emotional issues that they may be struggling with. If your spouse is attending therapy to address such issues, you can support them by offering to attend a therapy session with them.

For example, Attending a therapy session with your spouse can help you better understand their issues, work through communication challenges, and show support for their well-being. For example, by attending a session focused on anxiety, you can gain insight into triggers and coping mechanisms, offer your own perspective, and strengthen your relationship.

Additionally, attending a therapy session together can give you and your spouse an opportunity to discuss issues in a safe, supportive environment. You may be able to work through communication issues, understand each other's perspectives better, and develop new skills for resolving conflicts or managing stress. This is one of the best approaches to understanding how to help a spouse with depression.

13. Be a good listener

Listen to your spouse's concerns and offer reassurance. Be supportive and understanding. Being a good listener is a crucial part of being a supportive spouse. When you listen to your spouse, you show that you value their thoughts and feelings and that you are committed to understanding and supporting them. One of the best approaches here is knowing how to help a spouse with depression.

To be a good listener, it's important to give your spouse your full attention when they are speaking. This means putting away any distractions, like your phone or TV, and focusing on what they are saying. It also means actively engaging with what they are saying, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak. Part of being a good listener is reflecting back on what your spouse has said to ensure that you understand their perspective. This can involve summarizing what they've said or asking clarifying questions. Reflecting back on what they've said can help you avoid misunderstandings and cater to how to help a spouse with depression.

For example, if your spouse comes home from a stressful day, you can show your support by actively listening, validating their feelings, and offering reassurance that you're there for them. By being a good listener, you can promote open and honest communication, build trust and intimacy in your relationship, and show that you care about your spouse's well-being.

14. Avoid blaming your partner

Avoid blaming your spouse for their depression. The best answer is to understand how to help a spouse with depression. Depression is an illness, not a personal failure. When a spouse is struggling with depression, it's important to avoid blaming them for their condition. Depression is an illness that can affect anyone, regardless of their personal strengths or weaknesses. Blaming your spouse for their depression can create feelings of guilt, shame, and self-doubt, which can exacerbate their symptoms and make it more difficult for them to seek help. Instead of blaming your spouse for their depression, it's important to offer support and understanding.

For example, Instead of saying, "Why can't you just snap out of it? It's not that hard," try saying, "I understand that you're going through a tough time right now. How can I support you?"

By avoiding blame and acknowledging that depression is an illness that requires support and understanding, you can help your spouse feel heard and supported. This can help create a safe and trusting environment for them to seek help and work through their symptoms.

15. Take care of yourself

Taking care of a spouse with depression can be emotionally taxing. So, when you think how to help a spouse with depression, make sure you take care of yourself so that you can provide the support your spouse needs. Taking care of a spouse with depression can be emotionally draining and stressful. It's important to remember that in order to be there for your spouse, you need to take care of yourself as well. This means taking steps to manage your own stress and emotional well-being so that you can provide the support your spouse needs.

Taking care of yourself can involve a range of activities, such as getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, engaging in regular exercise, and making time for activities you enjoy. It can also mean seeking out your own support, such as talking to a therapist or counselor, joining a support group for loved ones of people with depression, or confiding in a trusted friend or family member.

For example, If you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed out, it's important to communicate your needs with your spouse. You might say something like, "I'm feeling really stressed and overwhelmed right now. I need to take a break and go for a walk to clear my head. Can you handle things here for a bit?"

By communicating your needs and taking a break to clear your mind, you can avoid burnout and maintain your own emotional well-being. This can help you come back to the caregiving role with renewed energy and focus, while also modeling healthy self-care habits for your spouse

How to Deal with a Depressed Partner Who Won't Get Help

Unfortanutely, sometimes all your love and support seems to be in vain. Your spouse has to be willing to help themselves first. Depression can be a crippling disease, but recovery is possible, if only they are open to change and healing. Healing can be at times uncomfortable, exhausting, and frustrating. Sometimes, people aren't ready for that yet. If you have a parnter who is depressed but isn't trying to get better, it can be a draining experience. Remember that you have to put yourself first, and that there's a difference between support and enabling. Make sure you know your own boundaries in this situation, and if those boundaries are continously crossed, consider what that means for the future of your relationship. 

We understand that this is a complicated situation, and can't be summed up nicely. Love can heal a lot of wounds, but the person has to be open to that healing. If they're not, you'll burn yourself out trying to save someone who might not want it right now. 

Conclusion

Supporting a partner who is depressed can be challenging but also rewarding with relationship therapy. Listening actively, showing empathy, encouraging professional help, offering emotional support, taking care of practical matters, avoiding judgment, being patient, encouraging self-care, educating yourself, offering to go to therapy, being positive, and taking care of yourself are all important ways to support a partner with depression. Remember, recovery takes time, and it's important to be patient, kind, and compassionate throughout the process of your relationship therapy. Begin your process now with one of the best relationship therapists or depresion therapists. 

Find Your Therapist