After a long day, all you want to do is come home and relax. Maybe you get yourself a nice dinner, sit down to watch TV, or curl up with a good book. But then . . . your mind starts to race. You feel uncomfortable sitting there doing nothing. You start to think about your to-do list, or that text you haven’t responded to yet, or the doctor’s appointment coming up. Before you know it, hours have passed, and you don’t feel any more relaxed than when you got home.
For many people, relaxing isn’t as easy as doing nothing. When you struggle with anxiety, burnout, stress, ADHD, and other mental health issues, relaxing can feel like a chore that you can’t get the hang of.
This article will go over some simple ways to relax, so that your time off is actually time off.
Why Do I Struggle to Relax?
If you find yourself wound tight, stressed, tensed, and unable to calm your racing thoughts whenever you sit down to relax, you might be struggling with your mental health. Difficulty relaxing could be a sign of a mental health disorder, or it could be a sign of chronic stress in your life. Either way, knowing the cause of your stress is important in relaxing.
Some reasons you might struggle to relax include
- Burnout: Burnout, often stemming from chronic work-related stress or overwhelming demands, can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion. The constant pressure and feeling of being emotionally drained can make it challenging for individuals to unwind and relax, as their minds may still be preoccupied with work-related stressors even during downtime.
- Anxiety Disorders: Individuals with anxiety disorders often experience persistent feelings of worry, fear, or unease. This heightened sense of anxiety can manifest physically, making it difficult to relax due to a state of heightened alertness, racing thoughts, and an ongoing sense of dread or apprehension. Anxiety disorders include issues such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or specific Phobias.
Do you think you might have an Anxiety Disorder? Take our free, online anxiety test to assess your symptoms.
- ADHD: Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can create difficulties in focusing, regulating impulses, and maintaining attention. For individuals with ADHD, the constant mental restlessness, difficulty in prioritizing tasks, and impulsivity can make it challenging to relax and unwind, as their minds may be buzzing with rapid thoughts and distractions.
Do you think you might have ADHD? Take our free, online ADHD test to assess your symptoms.
- Stress: Stress, whether from work, personal relationships, or external pressures, can trigger a cascade of physical and emotional responses in the body. The release of stress hormones can keep individuals in a state of heightened arousal, making it hard to transition into a relaxed state and causing ongoing feelings of tension and unease.
- Trauma Response: Did you know there are actually 4 different trauma responses? Experiencing trauma can lead to a range of emotional and physical responses, including hypervigilance, flashbacks, and emotional distress. Individuals with a trauma response may struggle to relax due to intrusive thoughts, heightened anxiety, and a sense of being on edge, as their bodies and minds remain on high alert to potential threats.
Knowing why you can’t relax will help you find the right calming techniques. work for you. Let’s take a look at a few powerful ways to relax.
5 Tips to Relax Quickly
Use these fast-acting relaxation techniques to calm your mind and body.
Create a Safe Space
Our brains process millions of stimuli every day. From our coworkers and obstacles on the road to smells, sounds, and the way the light glances through your office window, our brains are constantly processing.
If you struggle with ADHD, PTSD, or an anxiety disorder, any one of these pieces of stimuli could be triggering for you. With these disorders, your brain has trouble telling what is dangerous and what is not. So when you come home to relax and the dishes are cluttering the kitchen, your clothes are too tight, and you can hear your neighbors yelling through your shared wall, your brain and body won’t know how to relax.
The first thing you can do, therefore, is create a space that feels safe. For example:
- Clean up a corner of the house where you’ll be relaxing.
- Put on music that is comforting.
- Light a candle or burn incense.
- Wear noise-cancelling headphones.
- Put on an outfit that feels comfortable.
These little things will signal to your brain that you are safe and can relax.
Relax Your Body
The brain and body are intricately connected. When our muscles are tense, our brain will think we’re in danger and flood the body with stress hormones. When we’re stressed, we tense our muscles.
This means that we can relax in two ways: calming our thoughts or calming our body.
As you probably know, calming your thoughts can feel like herding cats. It’s not easy! Relaxing your body is a much more tactile and doable goal. You can calm your body by doing one of these relaxation techniques:
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Focus on one muscle group at a time. Start with your head and work your way down your body. Tense a muscle tightly, hold it for a moment, and then release it. By focusing on each muscle group individually, from head to toe, individuals can enhance body awareness and reduce physical stress, fostering a sense of calmness and relaxation.
- Box Breathing: Box breathing, also known as square breathing, is a mindfulness technique that involves a simple breathing pattern: inhaling for a count of four, holding the breath for four, exhaling for four, and holding the breath again for four. This rhythmic breathing exercise helps regulate the autonomic nervous system, promoting relaxation, reducing stress, and increasing focus and mental clarity.
- Color Scanning: Color scanning is a mindfulness practice where individuals visualize a specific color as a way to redirect their attention and promote relaxation. By focusing on imagining or visualizing a soothing color, individuals can create a mental image that calms the mind, reduces anxiety, and fosters a sense of tranquility and inner peace.
Finding ways to relax can be stressful. Take a few short minutes to practice one of these fast-acting calming techniques.
Address the Underlying Concern
Think about what is causing you stress.
Is it an email you haven’t sent? The basket of laundry sitting in your room? If it is a task that can be done, do it. You might be surprised by how little time it’ll take and how easy you can relax afterwards.
If it is a larger reason or something out of your control—like a sick family member, an upcoming presentation, or some amorphous anxiety that you can’t name—then focus on what you can control and then focus on what you can let go for the time being.
For example, if you have a presentation tomorrow, spend some time rehearsing it, and then distract yourself as you need to so you can relax.
Distract Yourself
Distracting yourself from your problems isn't always the solution. Some issues require direct confrontation and a plan. That’s why you should start distracting yourself after you've tried the other tips listed here.
Distractions don’t have to last forever. The purpose of distracting yourself is to give your mind and body the rest they need to recuperate. In the morning, you’ll be feeling refreshed and ready to address the problems.
Distractions can include:
- Playing a favorite video game
- Exercising
- Reading a book
- Watching a TV show
- Having friends over
- Going out to dinner
- Engaging in a craft or hobby
- Getting outside
- Dancing to your favorite song
What are the fun things you like to do that you rarely indulge in? Can you make time to indulge in them now?
Go to Therapy
If you are chronically struggling with stress and are unable to relax, a therapist can help. A good mental health professional can get to the root of the issue and help you find solutions to create long-lasting change.
If you are ready to talk to a therapist, reach out to Lifebulb Counseling. We have therapists who are ready and excited to meet you. (You can also browse our list of therapists here.)
