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What Does Self-Advocacy Mean?
Self-advocacy is the ability to communicate your needs, especially when your needs are not naturally or automatically met. This can mean speaking or acting for yourself to clearly communicate your needs, wants, goals, and rights.
The end goal of self-advocacy might be to keep yourself safe, gain independence, find help, or gather support towards your goals.
Self-Advocacy Examples
Self-advocacy is best explained by examples, because it can be used in many different ways and situations. Let’s look at some examples below.
Self-Advocacy in the Workplace
Sara has worked in her office for three years and has never gotten a raise. She works hard, is a team player, and is always willing to go above and beyond. This year, during her annual review, Sara asks for a raise. She cites comparable salaries from her state, lists her work duties, and points out areas she’s improved and succeeded in. She walks away with a salary increase and the feeling that she stood up for himself and what she’s worth.
Self-Advocacy at Home
Emmet and his wife just welcomed their third baby. He’s working from home while his wife goes back to the office, so he’s in charge of most of the childcare. For the third week in a row now, his wife has come home and asked to have a few minutes of “decompression time” after work.
Exhausted from caring for the kids while working from home, Emmet self-advocates by talking to his wife about the division of labor within the household. He communicates clearly about how he’s exhausted and feels taken advantage of. He offers alternate solutions and compromises.
In the end, they agree that when his wife comes home, she’ll take the kids for 20 minutes, and then they’ll switch so they each have a few minutes of decompression time.
Self-Advocacy in School
Jack is 8 and was just diagnosed with ADHD. His teacher is convinced it isn’t a real diagnosis and won’t give him extra time on his tests. Jack’s parents advocate for him by bringing the issue up with the principal and requesting a teacher change. Jack is changed to a different classroom and has an IEP installed so everyone is clear on his needs.
Self-Advocacy amongst Friends and Family
It’s the Holidays, and Mary has been invited to her family’s Christmas, her in-laws' Christmas, a work party, and a friend's Christmas party, all within two days. She just moved and is feeling strained. She decides to implement boundaries by telling everyone she will only be able to stay at their events for one hour.
Self-Advocacy in Your Community
Caleb is a wheelchair user. He lives in a community that is supposed to be very walkable, but doesn’t have any wheelchair ramps to get off and onto the sidewalks. He takes the issue to his local government and asks for accessible wheelchair ramps to be installed on the sidewalks. They agree, and now he can enjoy walks with his partner.
Self-Advocacy with Yourself
The biggest person you should self-advocate to is yourself. Go to bed early, eat healthy, and enjoy hobbies that align with your values. How are you treating yourself? If it’s not with all the respect, compassion, and understanding that you treat a close friend, then work on self-advocating for yourself. . . with yourself. Stand up for your right to be healthy and happy. Maybe this means going on a digital detox or starting to exercise.
Why Self-Advocacy is Important
Self-advocacy is linked to improved mental and physical health. When used properly, self-advocacy can lead to:
- Improved self-esteem
- Lower risk of mental health disorders
- Higher quality of life
- Higher life satisfaction
- Accomplishing your goals
- Building the life of your dreams
Self-advocacy says, “I deserve to be here. I deserve to take up space. My needs and wants have value.” When used with compassion and empathy towards yourself and others, this positive mindset can improve overall well-being.
Self-Advocacy Skills
What does self-advocacy look like? How can you apply it in your real life? There are a lot of self-advocacy skills you can choose from. Some of them are:
- Self-Awareness: Advocacy has to start from within. If you don’t know what you want or need, you can’t ask others for it.
- Assertive Communication: Being able to communicate your wants and needs without being aggressive is a tricky balance. Remember, you’re not asking for your needs to be met; you’re telling people what your needs are with the expectation that you will work together to find a solution. Do so with assertive confidence, but be open to compromise.
- Problem Solving: Self-advocacy isn’t just asking others to solve your problems; it’s coming up with the solutions to your own problems and then asking others to help you implement them.
- Resource Navigation: Often, self-advocacy means knowing who to talk to. Being able to navigate the many paths of resources can take time, patience, and practice. Make a list of good resources near you.
- Professionalism: Self-advocacy is not an excuse to complain or throw a fit. It’s often the opposite. You’ve recognized a very real problem, and you are bringing a solution to it. Do so with empathy, kindness, and professionalism.
- Confidence: You deserve to have your needs met. You deserve to have your voice heard! Especially if you are coming with both a problem and the potential solution, do so with confidence. You’re doing a good thing, and who knows how many other people you might help with your actions.
Knowing how to communicate, the ins and outs of nonverbal communication, when to get help, and when to hold boundaries are all important skills that make up self-advocacy.
How to Advocate For Yourself
You know why self-advocacy is important. You want to start implementing it in your life... but how? Where do you even begin? Here are some steps to get you started:
- Identify a need or want.
Example: You were hurt when a friend didn’t show up to your planned hangout, and you want last-minute cancellations like that to be avoided in the future. You have two kids and work full-time, so your time is valuable.
- List a few possible solutions to it.
Example: You suggest that they give you a heads-up if they need to cancel or be honest about whether they are actually able to hang out.
- Understand where your “hard nos” and boundaries are with this issue.
Example: You’re not willing to accept that it wasn’t a big deal, because it was a big deal to you. You’re willing to compromise, and you understand your friend is very busy, but you need some behavior to change.
- Figure out who to talk to.
Example: In this scenario, you would talk to your friend. If you were self-advocating in a corporate or school setting, understanding who you should raise your concern to is important.
- Schedule a meeting or time to talk.
Example: Try not to ambush them with this conversation. Ask to meet up with them or have a phone call to talk about something that’s been bothering you.
- Rehearse if you need.
Example: Self-adocacy can be hard. Don’t be afraid to script your major points and rehearse.
- Practice calming mechanisms to stay balanced and regulated.
Example: It’s best to approach this situation with calm, regulated emotions. Practice breathing exercises, color scanning, or progressive muscle relaxation to stay calm.
- Follow up if needed.
Example: If you don’t get results right away, don’t give up. Ask for a follow-up meeting and state your concerns more clearly. Self-associating might take a few times before a solution is found.
If you’re struggling to self advocate for yourself, a therapist can help. They can teach you the communication, regulation, and self-awareness skills you need to be successful at self-advocacy. They can also provide a safe environment to practice self-advocacy.
One easy way to start self-advocating today is by scheduling with a therapist near you. You deserve the best, and that means you deserve to be your best. Therapy can help.
