Aug 28, 2023
Have you seen the movie "Angry Bird"? Many of us relate to it, although it’s a children's movie. However, it also has a message for us adults. The main character in this movie expresses anger consistently, and because of this, he builds a house by the beach, away from the birds' colony. But ultimately, when he learns to control his anger, he becomes the hero of the colony. This perfectly demonstrates how identifying and curing anger issues can be a game-changing step for you.
No matter how often you remind yourself that 'it's not good to be angry', have you noticed that when the emotion arises, you cannot control it? From childhood, we have been hearing, 'Don't get angry' but the question is, how is this possible? How can you not be angry?' What do you do when you experience the feeling more often than necessary?
The American Psychological Association states, "Anger is an emotion that expresses your opposition to someone or someone who has wronged you." Anger manifests itself in certain experiences and situations, taking you away from your positive lifestyle.
It can disturb your emotional mind. Responding to someone's anger with anger can spoil your good relationship and make your environment negative. In other words, anger directs your actions positively or negatively. Let us know the root cause of anger and how we can control it.
Understanding the Root Cause of Anger
The root cause of anger is the non-fulfillment of our desires and expectations (from self and others). Sometimes, if we start imposing our own decisions and dreams on other people, we create unreasonable expectations in our minds. Then worry about that expectation leads to anxiety and then anger.
When you see some faults or shortcomings around you, you cannot accept them. Has it come to your mind? For example, when someone’s actions do not match your expectations, you angrily express it harshly. But often, that wave is left behind by regret and remorse, right?
When you are angry, you are most often not in control. First of all, your anger cannot remove faults and shortcomings. We can remove the shortcomings by consciously accepting the situation as it is. While this is not easy to do, by identifying your anger patterns, you can cure anger issues.
Let’s start this discussion on a positive note; anger management is possible, and freedom from anger can be achieved with easy steps. The combined effect of the thoughts and feelings stored in our mind is our current life and its relationships. We are not just physical beings; emotions affect us on a much deeper and subconscious level. Whether the emotions are sweet or bitter, they directly affect the thought process. Then the same feelings come out in the verbal form. Bitter emotions are expressed when we are angry.
Our upbringing influences childhood and Upbringing How we learn to deal with feelings of anger. Many are taught the message of anger as children. These messages can make anger management difficult as an adult. For example, you may have grown up thinking that expressing your anger aggressively or violently is always okay. So you haven't learned how to understand and manage your angry feelings. It can mean you get angry when you don't like someone's behavior. Or when you're in a situation you don't like.
You may believe that you should not complain. You may have been punished for expressing anger as a child. This could mean that you tend to suppress your anger. If you don't feel like you can healthily release your anger, it can become a long-term problem. If you are uncomfortable with new situations, your reactions to them may be inappropriate or inaccurate. Or you can take this anger out on yourself.
You may have seen your parents or other adults getting angry. And learned to think of anger as always destructive and terrifying. This may mean that you are now afraid of your anger. And when something makes you angry, you feel unsafe expressing your feelings. Those feelings may appear later at another unrelated time. This may seem difficult to explain.
Improving Internal Status
A moment of anger makes a huge difference in life. When we get angry, we blame the other person or the situation, but our inner thoughts and feelings are the real reason. If our mind is constantly experiencing sadness and pain, it is natural to get angry. The effects of anger on our bodies are negative. We burn inside. After anger, the mind feels sad. When we know well how our angry nature leaves a bad impression on our personality, we even regret it, but after the anger subsides, we think that anger will not return, but it never happens. Anger keeps returning.
If one wants to succeed in life, controlling anger is essential. Anger is the biggest obstacle to our progress. When angry, humans lose concentration. Therefore, there can be no success. When there is anger, the hormones in the human body become uncontrolled. The flexibility of the body decreases. Anger destroys a person's natural speed and ease.
When angry, a person becomes restless and cannot carry out the work. When angry, precision is lost, and a person does not understand what he wants to do. Avoiding anger is the most important remedy. Even in rare cases of anger, one should explore the options available to the person at that time. Anger has an adverse effect on a person's health and mind; it can be harmful. When anger arises, removing that thing from the mind and thoughts is best.
What is Anger Management
Observing your thoughts and feelings, and becoming aware that anger is arising, gradually brings anger under control when these things happen repeatedly. Exercising control becomes easier if we experience sudden anger before it is expressed.
Constantly generating positive and loving thoughts and feelings makes one's inner state sensitive. When our senses are raised, there is no reason to get angry; even if we get angry, we can observe and control it.
When the senses are heightened, we automatically experience a contented and happy life. When the moments of happiness increase, one feels such happiness that anger is a waste of free time. We must purify our diet, thoughts, and emotions to make the inner state sensitive. Anger can cause an adrenaline rush in your body. So, before you recognize the feeling you're feeling, you'll notice:
- Your heart is beating fast
- Your breathing quickens
- Your body is getting stressed
- You are clenching your jaw or fists
Learning to recognize these signs can help you think about how to react to a situation before you do anything. This can be difficult in the heat of the moment. But the sooner you notice how you feel, the easier it will be to choose how to control your anger.
Here are impactful techniques designed to help you productively manage your anger:
1. Write down experiences related to anger
This will make you angry and know what makes you angry and what events can upset you. Writing down your anger experiences through journaling is an attempt to get to know yourself. It allows us to create space for reasoning and self-evaluation and to set tasks.
2. Use the body scan activity
Start focusing on the part of the body where you feel angry. Direct your attention to that part or other parts of the body. If your anger is causing you physical stress, remember that it can harm you emotionally in the long run.
3. Practice meditation
Mediation is one of the best remedies to cure anger. Performed with mindfulness, meditation allows thoughts to come and go without judgment. At the same time, it also involves connecting to the present moment and creating space to choose your next course of action.
5. Deep breathing
Rhythmic and deep breathing reduces your arousal and increases your productivity. Many online platforms offer deep breathing exercises using square breathing exercises. This exercise involves inhaling deeply through the nose, counting for a few seconds, then holding the breath for additional few seconds, then exhaling slowly through the mouth.
6. Cognitive behavioral therapy
Using cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on helping you understand the thoughts that make you angry. For example, during a meeting with a colleague you might say, "He thinks I'm incompetent? How stupid!" If you're stuck in this situation, you can use therapy to immediately offer another perspective, such as, "Maybe he misunderstood my comment. I'll talk to him to make sure he gets my point." Understand in a way.
7. Hormonal imbalance
Hormonal imbalance can also cause anger in some people. Following healthy eating habits, staying hydrated, resting, and getting enough sleep can help overcome this problem. Hormonal support as advised by doctors can give such people the strength to deal with anger when they are angry.
8. Communication training
When you are angry, the words that come out of your mouth also reduce your clear thinking. Communication training can overcome this problem. With the help of this, you can keep yourself calm during times of anger and refrain from uttering any profanity from your mouth.
9. Get help from a professional
If your anger expression is causing you or others to misbehave, you may want to seek professional help from a licensed therapist trained in anger management skill development.
10. Try to keep the mind calm
You may not be able to rid yourself of anger by using all the above solutions, but you can accept that everyone feels anger and it is directly related to your brain.
Conclusion
Anger is an overwhelmingly strong emotion. Every human is in search of intensity. Exciting, action-packed movies and sports are so popular today because people are looking for some kind of thrill. And this intensity they experience either through physical action, anger, or pain.
The experience of intensity works as a balm for many. Anger can also get you out of many things but one of the problems with anger is that it doesn’t always arise of pure intensity. It keeps you stuck in external situations.
However, instead of suppressing or denying anger, understanding its triggers and using effective strategies can lead to healthy emotional responses. By developing self-awareness, practicing mindfulness, and implementing practical techniques, individuals can master their anger, foster healthy relationships, and improve their quality of life.
The more intense your choices become, the stronger this feeling of isolation becomes. Anger comes out of you because you are not ready to accept someone or something as a part of yourself. By embracing and accepting yourself completely, you experience a heightened sense of freedom. The day when everything, the whole of existence is absorbed in you, you will be liberated.
Remember, everyone gets angry sometimes; The key is how we constructively manage and channel these emotions. So, we want to tell you that anger is not a "bad" emotion. You can try to control your anger with the help of the guidelines and remedies mentioned in this article.
