How to Deal with Financial Stress this Holiday Season

Remember Why You Celebrate

This time of year, there can be a lot of pressure to spend big. Kids expect lots of presents, parents expect to be hosted, friends expect big dinner parties, and partners expect grand romantic gestures. None of it is helped by the constant ads and commercials that hound us, telling us of all the newest trends and things to buy. All of it can add up financially.

It can help to remember why you celebrate. For many people, this time of year has significant meaning, both religious and otherwise. Maybe you want to focus on connection, showing others you love them, or making new memories. 

Choose one core thing you want to focus on this season. When you start to get stressed about money, ask yourself: Will buying this thing help bring you closer to your core focus? 

Have a Plan

Going in with a credit card and no real plan is a recipe for overspending. Instead, sit down with your partner or whoever else you will be splitting your holiday bills with and outline a plan. Some things you can do:

• Make a budget: What’s your hard limit on spending this year? Do you have that money already or will you be using a credit card? If so, how do you plan on paying it off? Thinking through these things before you spend will help the spending be fun and not stressful. 
• Track your spending: Not just gifts, track how much you spend on travel, accommodations, food, and outfits. If you start to notice one category creep higher than you’re comfortable with, examine why and take steps to decrease it. 
• Prioritize: Is it important that your parents stay at your house for Christmas week? Could it be for just a weekend? Do your kids really need that new toy, or is it more important to spend some money on a fun family excursion? 

A plan can’t predict all the many twists and turns this holiday season will bring, but it can help you be prepared and stay calm when the chaos comes. 

Set Expectations Beforehand

Communication is key. Sit down with your kids and tell them how many presents they can expect or if something on their list is too expensive. Let your parents know when and how often you’ll be available. Don’t be afraid to say no and assert healthy, clear boundaries. 

Remember that everyone will have more fun if you’re also having fun, and you can’t do that if you're stressing out about finances. Boundaries help everyone to have a fun, safe, and fulfilling holiday season. 

Recognize How You Deal with Stress

Stress this holiday season is probably unavoidable. Instead of pretending like the financial stress doesn’t exist, ask yourself how you deal with it. 

Do you tend to spend more when you’re stressed? Maybe you dissociate, people please, or try to run away. 

It’s understandable that your fight-flight-freeze-fawn response is triggered during this time of year. Have compassion for yourself and recognize that your body is trying to handle more stress than it normally does. 

Practice Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Once you’ve recognized how you usually deal with stress, you can start replacing unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthy ones. 

Some healthy coping mechanisms you can use to deal with financial stress this holiday season include:

• Do something else: The holidays have a way of overtaking anything else we have going on. If you’re feeling stressed about the holidays, try taking a step back and doing something unrelated to this time of year. Engage in a hobby or try something new.
• Go on a social media detox: Social media does not show us an accurate representation of real life. Instead, it shows us a curated feed of everyone’s most perfect moments. Comparing yourself to what you see on social media can worsen financial stress. Instead, take a break and connect with the people around you, or take some time for yourself. 
• Practice mindfulness: Guided meditation or breathing exercises can help you move through periods of stress. For example, progressive muscle relaxation, the 3-3-3 rule, the 54321 grounding technique, or box breathing are good techniques to use.
• Move your body: Go for a walk, dance, exercise, or sing. Move your body through space and imagine your anxiety sliding off you. Nature walks are especially helpful for this. 
• Journaling: Writing down your financial worries to get them out of your head can help you feel more grounded and in control. You can try using journal prompts or you can write whatever you are thinking, a practice called stream of consciousness journaling. 
• Take care of your physical health: Your mind can’t be healthy if your body isn’t. It can be hard to take care of your physical health during the holidays, when sweets, parties, and snowy days keep us sedentary and indoors. But prioritize getting enough water, eating healthy, and exercising a little every day. 

Find a coping mechanism that works for you. Maybe it’s a favorite song, a creative hobby, or a friend you can always rely on to talk you through your financial stress. 

Ask For Help

It’s unfortunate that the Holidays are one of the loneliest times of the year. When we’re all supposed to be forming a community, many people feel like they can’t let negative emotions through. We’re told that sadness, grief, and anxiety have no place at the holiday dinner table. 

But this isn’t true! Lean on your loved ones. Let them know how you’re feeling. Ask for help. Be honest with the people that you care about, and accept their honest truths as well. 

If financial stress feels like it is taking over your life, therapy can help. A therapist can be there with you long-term or just to help you through this difficult time of year. They can help you identify triggers of stress, find healthy coping mechanisms, and work through all the issues that may come up this year. 

You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through another holiday season. You can choose to take one small step today towards a more peaceful and fulfilling season. 

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