Sep 23, 2024
Trust is a crucial component of all relationships, but it can be the hardest to find again after you’ve been hurt. “Trust issues” is a common term used to describe pervasive difficulties in trusting others. This can be widespread—unable to fully trust anyone or form trusting bonds—or specific—like being unable to trust a romantic partner.
Regardless, trust issues can block people from forming fulfilling relationships, which can negatively impact one’s quality of life, happiness, and mental health.
This article will go over what is meant by “trust issues”, why you might have trust issues, and how to trust when you’ve been hurt.
Trust Issues Meaning
Trust is defined by Merriam-Webster as “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something”. Trust can come in many different forms. You may not trust what someone says, but know their actions to be true. You may be suspicious of what someone wants from you and be distrusting of their intentions. Or, you may be fully trusting of people until they make a mistake or do something triggering, in which case it feels impossible to give them your trust again.
There is no official diagnosis of trust issues, but it is a common experience among people who experience Depression, Anxiety, trauma, personality disorders, and other mental health disorders.
Examples of trust issues can include:
- Unwilling to commit to others
- Cutting people off completely when trust is lost
- Not asking others for help or confiding in them
- Isolating yourself from others
- Assuming the worst in others
- Difficulty forgiving
- Suspicion or paranoia, which may result in violating privacy
- Control issues
- Betraying others so you can leave before you get hurt
Symptoms of trust issues include:
- Difficulty confiding in others or sharing personal information
- Fear of betrayal or being taken advantage of in relationships
- Hypervigilance towards signs of dishonesty or deceit
- Reluctance to trust even close friends or family members
- Avoidance of intimacy or emotional vulnerability
- Feeling constantly on guard or suspicious of others' intentions
- Difficulty forming or maintaining close relationships
- Tendency to test others' loyalty or honesty
- Overanalyzing past betrayals or conflicts, impacting current relationships
- Fear of opening up due to past experiences of broken trust
Trust issues can significantly impact one's ability to connect with others and experience healthy relationships. Seeking therapy or counseling can provide valuable support in addressing these issues and learning to build trust in oneself and others. Remember, with patience, self-awareness, and the right support, it is possible to heal and cultivate trust in relationships.
Impact of Trust Issues
Trust issues may feel like the safer option; you’re protecting yourself from hurt, afterall. But the larger impacts of trust issues cannot be ignored.
Trust issues can result in:
- Strained relationships with friends, family, or romantic partners
- Feelings of loneliness and isolation
- Increased stress and anxiety from constantly questioning others' intentions
- Hindrance in personal and professional growth as trust issues can impact collaboration and teamwork
- Anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues
- Difficulty in establishing a sense of security and safety in relationships and life overall
Trust issues can have a profound impact on various aspects of one's life, affecting relationships, mental health, and overall well-being. Seeking therapy or counseling can provide the necessary support to address these issues, heal past wounds, and learn to trust oneself and others. Remember, with guidance and self-awareness, it is possible to work through trust issues and cultivate healthy, fulfilling relationships that contribute to a brighter, more connected life.
Why do I have trust issues?
Research has shown that there is a genetic component to how trusting people are, but there is not one for how mistrusting someone is. For example, how willing you are to trust the word of a stranger has a genetic component, but how much you are to actively distrust their word is not genetic.
Instead, trust issues have large environmental causation factors. For example, events that may cause you to have trust issues include:
- Past Betrayal: If you’ve been burned in the past, you might have trouble opening up again. For example, recovering from cheating can prove very difficult for even the most trusting of people.
- Parental conflict: If you’ve been modeled a mistrusting, hurtful relationship growing up, you may start thinking that is the only type of relationship and be hesitant to start any relationships of your own. (You may also develop an insecure attachment style.)
- Bullying: If you’ve been mistreated by others, especially at a young age, you may not trust others to be kind or gentle with your heart.
- Trauma and adverse life experiences: Trauma can rewrite the brain, making you paranoid and distrusting of others.
The important thing to note with all of these experiences is that you can heal from them. The brain is very malleable, and although it may develop mistrust as a way to protect you, you can also teach it to be trusting again.
How to trust someone again
The road to trusting others can be difficult. You’ll have to be willing to be uncomfortable and push yourself. The result is worth it though: healthy, sustainable relationships and balanced mental health.
Learning to trust again will look different for everyone, but a few steps to get you started include:
- Understand why you have trust issues: Take time to reflect on past experiences that may have contributed to your trust issues. Understand how these experiences shaped your beliefs and behaviors.
- Challenge negative beliefs: Recognize and challenge negative beliefs (called cognitive distortions) about yourself and others that feul your trust issues. Replace them with more positive and realistic perspectives.
- Start small: Begin by building trust in low-stakes situations or with people who have proven themselves trustworthy. Gradually increase the level of vulnerability as you gain confidence.
- Communicate openly: Cultivate open and honest communication with others. Express your concerns, fears, and needs in a respectful manner. Effective communication can help build a foundation of trust and understanding.
- Set healthy boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect yourself and your emotional well-being. Boundaries can help foster a sense of safety and control in relationships.
- Practice self-care: Engage in activities that promote self-care and nurture your emotional well-being. Prioritize activities that bring you joy, reduce stress, and enhance your overall sense of self-worth.
- Develop a support system: Surround yourself with supportive and trustworthy individuals who can provide guidance, empathy, and encouragement along your journey of healing.
- Be patient with yourself: Overcoming trust issues takes time and effort. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate the process. Celebrate small victories and seek support when needed.
- Seek therapy or counseling: A skilled therapist can provide a safe space to explore the root causes of your trust issues and guide you towards healing and developing healthier relationship patterns. Lifebulb is committed to connecting you with highly educated, experienced, and passionate therapists who can support your journey.
Remember, you are not alone in your journey. Lifebulb is here to help you live your brightest life, offering guidance, resources, and connections to exceptional therapists. With determination, support, and self-empowerment, you can overcome trust issues and cultivate healthier, fulfilling relationships.
