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Parallel Play is an important part of child development, and a skill that adults can learn from, too.
During parallel play, two people are engaging in recreational activities in the same space together but not interacting with one another. For example, two kids playing with the same LEGO bin but building separate things.
Parallel play is mutually enjoyable, uncompetitive, and conflict-free. One person isn’t policing the other on how to play “right”; they’re just enjoying the activity together independently.
Parallel play should be encouraged in children. New research suggests that it’s a pretty good idea for adults, too.
What Is Parallel Play in Child Development?
Parallel Play usually starts around age 2, and is the predominant playing style of kids until age 3 or 4 when they start associative play.
But Parallel Play doesn’t stop after kids progress past this developmental stage. The skills learned in this stage carry on to other types of play, and people engage in parallel play-style activities all the time.
For example, kids aged 6-8 are all painting together. They’re working on separate paintings but using the same tools and playing in the same space. As they grow older, activities like studying and working can be done in parallel, too, with their own benefits. (Studying or working together is called body doubling and is a great way to stay focused and productive.)
Parallel Play introduces kids to the ideas of trust, empathy, boundaries, and independence in a fun way.
Parallel Play vs Cooperative Play vs Associative Play
Parallel play, cooperative play, and associative play are three types of developmental play that your kids will go through. Let’s break them down:
- Parallel Play (2+ years): Children play alongside each other, but not together. They may use the same toys or inhabit the same space. The play is peaceful and enjoyable for both children, but not cooperative.
- Associative Play (3-4 years): Children begin to play with each other, but there is limited interaction and communication. For example, a group of children playing on the same set of playground equipment or two kids riding bikes together.
- Cooperative Play (4+ years): This is when children begin to play with others and have a shared goal. They’re no longer on separate missions side-by-side; they’re actively working together to play. This could mean building a tower together, playing tag, or playing pretend with the same storyline and an understanding of each other’s characters.
The key difference between parallel play and associative play is the level of interaction. Kids who are parallel playing can do so without ever interacting with one another. Children who are using associative play will have some amounts of interaction. For example, they both want to use the slide at the same time and have to decide who will go first.
Benefits of Parallel Play
Parallel play is an important part of your child’s development. Its benefits include:
- Understand Boundaries: Parallel play teaches kids to share space with others while keeping their play area. This helps them recognize personal boundaries and respect those of their peers.
- Grow Communication Skills: Even without direct interaction, children observe their peers' sounds, words, and gestures. This observation supports early language development and nonverbal communication.
- Develop Gross and Fine Motor Skills: As children play next to each other with toys, blocks, or during movement activities, they practice important motor skills and learn new movements by watching others.
- Learn to Share: Being around other children helps kids feel more comfortable taking turns, sharing materials, and waiting patiently, even before they fully engage in cooperative play.
- Build Trust With Others: Parallel play allows children to be near their peers in a low-pressure setting. This helps them feel safe, build trust, and gain confidence in social situations.
- Develop Empathy: By watching others’ reactions, emotions, and behaviors during play, children begin to understand how their peers feel. This lays the groundwork for empathy and emotional awareness.
- Supports Emotional Regulation: Playing next to each other teaches children to stay calm, manage stimulation, and develop patience while being around others.
These skills will form the basis on which social interactions will continue to grow. They are a solid foundation for a well-rounded, happy child who is comfortable playing with their peers.
Can Adults Parallel Play?
Yes! In fact, it’s encouraged.
Parallel Playing as an adult allows you to be with someone you love while maintaining your identity. For example, you want to spend more time with your partner, but you don’t have the same hobbies.
Instead of always adapting to someone else’s hobbies, you can play together, separately. One person plays video games while the other one reads their book. You’re still physically present together, but you maintain your identity and passions.
It’s still important to engage with each other collaboratively, but parallel play allows you time together without the pressure of being intentional all the time. Having a little bit of both can help a relationship thrive.
Parallel Play is also important for neurodivergent adults, especially adults with Autism. Parallel play offers an avenue of social connection and community to those for whom one-on-one cooperative interaction is too much at times.
Parallel Play Examples
Parallel play can fit the desires and hobbies of the individual; that’s part of what makes it so accessible. Here are some examples.
Parallel Play Examples for Children
- Playing with blocks beside another child without directly interacting
- Coloring or drawing next to a peer at the same table
- Playing with toy cars or trains on separate tracks side-by-side
- Reading picture books next to another child
- Doing puzzles individually, but in the same space
- Playing in a sandbox while another child digs or builds nearby
- Engaging in pretend play separately (e.g., cooking, doctor kits) while near another child
- Building with Play-Doh or clay beside a peer
- Playing on swings next to each other at the playground
- Completing individual crafts during group time
Parallel Play Examples for Adults
- Working on laptops side-by-side at a café without directly talking
- Reading books or journaling while sitting next to a partner or friend
- Doing separate hobbies (painting, knitting, gaming) in the same room
- Exercising on adjacent gym equipment, like treadmills or stationary bikes
- Cooking different tasks in the kitchen at the same time without coordinating
- Gardening in the same yard but focusing on separate plants or tasks
- Watching different content on separate devices while sitting together
- Building or repairing separate items in a shared workshop
- Studying or completing homework independently at a shared table
- Working quietly in the same office or co-working space
Some of the adult examples are also examples of body doubling. Doing things together has enormous benefits for our mental health and overall well-being, including our productivity and enjoyment of the task.
Parallel Play in Therapy
Parallel Play is one of the cornerstones of child therapy. Children don’t always have the verbal skills to express how they’re feeling and why. Instead of having a direct conversation with them, child therapists will use parallel play to model good coping skills, behavioral skills, and social skills.
If your child is struggling socially, with their communication, or with their behavior, a licensed child therapist can help. Parallel Play is only one tool they can use to help your child thrive.
Lifebulb has child therapists near you with availability open. We accept most major insurances and offer virtual or in-person sessions. Contact our team to meet with a child therapist.
