Couples Therapy in Charlottesville

How to Bring Up Couples Therapy

Couples therapy is a proven, effective way to improve your relationship, but it only works if both partners are on board. This article gives you tips on how to bring up couples counseling to your partner. Lifebulb’s couples counselors in Charlottesville accept insurance and have little to no wait list. See a provider within 7 days of calling.

So You Want to Go to Couples Counseling . . . Now What?

Over 70% of couples who attend couples therapy leave better than they entered. Going to couples therapy in Charlottesville is the first step to a healthier, happier relationship, but taking that first step is often the hardest part of the journey.

Whether you’re young university students at the University of Virginia or you’re raising a family in the family-friendly neighborhoods of Charlottesville, couples therapy can help you navigate conflicts, grow in intimacy, and learn healthy communication skills. Take the first step and talk to your partner about seeing a couples therapist today.

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So You Want to Go to Couples Counseling . . . Now What?

Signs You Should Talk to a Couples Therapist

Some conflict is unavoidable. When do you know it’s time to see a couples therapist? Here are some signs:

Frequent or repeated arguments
Broken trust
Quickly escalating disagreements
Lack of physical or emotional intimacy
Feeling unloved
Major life changes
Considering separation

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Choose a Therapist Together

A good couples therapist will be someone both of you can trust and open up to. At Lifebulb, our Charlottesville therapists are experienced and ready to help.

Signs You Should Talk to a Couples Therapist

What if your partner doesn’t want to attend couples therapy? What if they are offended by the idea or threaten to break up with you? Here are some ways to navigate this conversation. And remember, the right person will want to fight for this relationship just as much as you do.

Using “I” Statements

Try not to assume what your partner is feeling. Instead of saying, “We haven’t been happy,” say “I haven’t felt loved or heard lately.” Also, avoid blaming. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me.” Try saying, “I want to work on our communication. Consider what you wish to get out of therapy. Where do you want the relationship to be in a year? 5 years? Communicate that to your partner.

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Tell Them What You Want Your Future Together To Look Like

Maybe your partner already knows how you feel, or maybe this is the first time you’re talking about this. Regardless, it’s important not to let things spiral and escalate. One way to do this is by being clear and concise about what you want.

For example, “I’d like to talk to a therapist about our communication,” is better than “We need to see a couples therapist.” Also, include where you’d like the relationship to go, and don’t forget to reaffirm your love and commitment: “I can see myself being with you for the rest of my life. I love you so much, but I just haven’t been feeling heard lately, and I’d like to talk to a therapist about our communication, so we have a solid base to build a future on.”

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Consider External Stressors

Springing this conversation on them after a stressful day at work or right as they’re walking out the door will lead to less productive conversations. Try to have the conversation during a calm time where you both have time to truly talk it through. For example, over dinner or during a date night. If you can, giving your partner a heads up that you have something important you want to talk about can be helpful.

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Use Active Listening

Now is the time to express your concerns for the relationship and your desires for its future, but it’s also time to listen to how your partner feels. Try not to listen for what you want to hear, truly listen to what they’re saying.

What is your partner struggling with? What do they want to change in your relationship? These are important things to know before seeing a therapist.

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Steps to Take Together

Therapy can be an overwhelming experience to start. Take the first steps by narrowing down some therapist options, verifying your insurance, and making a list of what you want to talk about.

Finding a good couples therapist is vital. You want someone who won’t take sides, who will listen to both of you, and who you both feel comfortable with. Find a few options to bring to your partner when you have this conversation. Presenting a solution along with a problem is one way to make the conversation go smoothly.

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Did you know that most insurances cover couples therapy? If your insurance doesn’t, check your partner’s. You only need to bill one insurance for couples therapy.
You’ll want to make sure the therapist you choose is “in network” with your insurance. Your insurance provider will be able to tell you if they are. If you’re still not sure, check with the therapists themselves.
Lifebulb’s Charlottesville therapists accept most major insurances and will verify your benefits for you. Give our team a call to learn more.

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Showing up to your first couples therapy session together is a huge step, and you should celebrate! But the work doesn’t end there. Hold each other accountable by practicing what you’re learning in therapy. Work on actively listening to one another, showing your love, and managing conflict as it comes.
You can do this. Your love for one another and your commitment to the relationship will get you far. A couple's therapist can help.

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