Have you ever replayed a conversation from three days ago and suddenly wondered, “Wait…did I sound weird when I said that?” Or maybe you’ve sent a text and then spent the next 20 minutes analyzing why the other person hasn’t responded yet. They could be busy. They could be driving. They could simply have their phone on silent. But your brain has already written, directed, and produced an entire Netflix series about what their silence means.
If this sounds familiar, you may be an overthinker. The good news? You can learn how to stop overthinking and feel more in control of your thoughts.
What Is Overthinking?
Overthinking is when your brain gets stuck analyzing, replaying, predicting, or worrying about something—usually without actually getting you any closer to a solution.
Thinking through a problem can be helpful. Overthinking, however, tends to leave you feeling more anxious, confused, and exhausted.
You may find yourself:
● Replaying conversations or past situations
● Constantly worrying about what might happen
● Thinking about all the possible ways something could go wrong
● Second-guessing your decisions
● Asking others for reassurance
● Having difficulty making even small decisions
● Trying to figure out what someone else is thinking or feeling
● Thinking, “What if…?” approximately 47 times a day
The tricky part is that overthinking can feel productive. Your brain tells you that if you just think about the situation a little longer, you will finally figure it out. Unfortunately, there is often no magical answer waiting at the bottom of the thought spiral.
Why Do We Overthink?
Overthinking is often connected to anxiety, uncertainty, perfectionism, past experiences, or a desire to feel in control.
When something feels uncertain, your brain may try to solve the uncertainty by thinking about every possible outcome. The problem is that life comes with a lot of uncertainty. No amount of thinking can guarantee that everything will go exactly as planned.
Sometimes, overthinking is also an attempt to protect yourself. Your brain may believe that if you anticipate every possible problem, you will be prepared for it.
The downside? You end up mentally preparing for problems that may never happen.
How to Stop Overthinking
Here are six Cognitive Behavioral Techniques you can use to stop overthinking.
1. Notice When You Are Doing It
The first step is recognizing when your thoughts have shifted from problem-solving to overthinking.
Ask yourself:
“Am I actually solving a problem right now, or am I going around in circles?”
If you have been thinking about the same situation for 30 minutes and haven't come up with anything new, chances are you are no longer problem-solving.
Simply noticing the pattern can create enough distance to interrupt it.
2. Focus on What You Can Control
One of the most helpful questions you can ask yourself is:
“What is within my control right now?”
You cannot control what another person thinks. You cannot control whether someone likes you. You cannot control the outcome of every situation.
You can control how you respond, what boundaries you set, what you say, and what actions you take.
Instead of spending an hour trying to predict what someone else might do, focus on what you can do next.
3. Challenge the Thought
Overthinking often involves treating assumptions as facts.
For example:
“They didn't respond to my text, so they must be upset with me.”
Ask yourself:
● What evidence do I have that this is true?
● Is there another possible explanation?
● Am I assuming I know what someone else is thinking?
● What would I tell a friend who had this thought?
Maybe they are upset. Maybe they're busy. Maybe they forgot to respond. Maybe their phone is sitting somewhere underneath a pile of laundry.
The point isn't to convince yourself that everything is fine. The goal is to look at the situation realistically rather than automatically choosing the worst-case scenario.
4. Give Yourself a Time Limit
If you have something legitimate to think through, give yourself a designated amount of time.
For example, tell yourself, “I'm going to spend 15 minutes thinking about this and deciding what I can do.”
Write down your concerns, identify what you can control, and decide whether there is an action you need to take.
When the 15 minutes are up, move on.
This may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if your brain is used to believing that more thinking equals more safety. But sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is tell your brain, “Thank you for your input. Meeting adjourned.”
5. Get Out of Your Head and Into the Present
Overthinking usually involves living in the past or the future.
You may be replaying something that already happened or worrying about something that hasn't happened yet.
Grounding yourself in the present can help.
Try noticing:
● Five things you can see
● Four things you can touch
● Three things you can hear
● Two things you can smell
● One thing you can taste
You can also take a walk, stretch, listen to music, take a shower, or focus on your breathing. Sometimes your brain needs a change of scenery—not another meeting with itself.
6. Stop Trying to Find the “Perfect” Answer
There may not be a perfect decision, perfect response, or perfect way to handle a situation. If you struggle with perfectionism, remind yourself that good enough is often good enough. Ask:
“What is the best decision I can make with the information I have right now?” You don't need to know exactly how everything will turn out before taking the next step.
Learning to Trust Yourself
One of the biggest ways to reduce overthinking is to build trust in yourself.
Instead of believing, “I need to think about this until I know exactly what will happen,” practice telling yourself:
“I may not know what will happen, but I trust myself to handle it if it does.” That is a very different mindset.
The goal isn't to eliminate every worried thought. Thoughts are going to happen. The goal is to stop letting every thought become an emergency.
If overthinking is interfering with your relationships, sleep, work, or ability to enjoy your life, talking with a therapist can also be helpful. Therapy can help you identify the patterns behind your overthinking and learn healthier ways to manage anxiety, uncertainty, and self-doubt.
Your brain may always be a little chatty. That's okay. You just don't have to attend every meeting it schedules.