Mental Health During the Holidays: It’s Okay to Be Sad During Christmas

Is it normal to feel depressed on the holidays?

Yes, it is normal to feel depressed, sad, lonely, or anxious during Christmas. A 2021 study found that 3 in 5 Americans say their mental health is negatively impacted by the holidays. If you have a preexisting mental health condition, that is all the more likely. Aptly termed the “Holiday blues” for feelings of depression and sadness, or “Holiday Stress” for the feelings of anxiety, stress, and overwhelm that occur during Christmas. 89% of Americans say that concerns over finances, family conflict during the holiday, and missing loved ones cause more stress than usual during the Holidays. A smaller study found that 63% of Americans find the Holidays more stressful than tax season. 

If you’re struggling with your mental health this Holiday Season, you’re not alone, and there are steps you can take to protect your mental health and keep it from deteriorating during this season. 

Why am I sad during the holidays?

It can be frustrating when we are constantly presented with the narrative that Christmas and the surrounding holidays are a joyous, happy time. All of that joy and we may start to think there’s something wrong with us. Why am I sad during the holidays? Why can’t I just enjoy the time with my family? Why am I so stressed? Why can’t I take time to slow down? 

Your struggles make sense. The Holidays are a trying time for many reasons, including: 

• You’re grieving: If you’ve lost a loved one, the Holidays will be hard simply because they’re no longer around. The first holiday after your loss will be especially hard, but every holiday after that will likely hold a shadow of grief. They can even trigger the five stages of grief. 
• You’re depressed: Holiday depression is a real thing. In addition to the stress, the Holidays bring about old, unwanted memories or hopes. Family conflict may be triggering. The constant reminder to “be happy” during the Holidays can produce the opposite effect.  
• You’re stressed!: Holiday stress is such a common experience that it has its own term. Holiday stress is no joke. Between managing family conflicts, buying gifts, managing expectations, and the countless parties and get-togethers the last two months of the year bring, there’s no wonder why you’re feeling more stressed and overwhelmed than usual. 
• You have SAD: Seasonal Affective Disorder affects around 5% of the U.S. population, more so in wintery, cloudy states. SAD peaks around December and January, when the nights are the longest and we see the least amount of sunshine. If you’ve had a case of the holiday blues, it may be because you have seasonal depression. 
• Family is complicated: Right there besides finances is one of the most prevalent triggers of the holiday season—family. Family can be great, but it can also be difficult. It’s, well, complicated! It’s normal to feel mixed emotions about your family during the Holiday season. Sometimes, these mixed feelings can harm your mental health. 

These are just a few reasons your mental health may struggle this holiday season; they are far from the only ones. If you’re struggling with holiday depression, holiday stress, or any other mixed emotions during this season, read on to learn how you can manage your mental health. 

How to manage your mental health this 2024 holiday season

There is a lot out of our control during the holidays. What happened in the past, how others act, the weather, and what’s coming in our future are all out of our hands. How, then, can you manage your mental health when everything feels chaotic? Here are some tips:

• Set healthy boundaries: There’s a lot of people and things vying for your attention during the holidays. Work, family, friends, your wallet. Set boundaries with the people and things in your life. You don’t have to go to every holiday party or buy a gift for every coworker. Learn how to set healthy boundaries and hold yourself accountable to the boundaries you set. 
• Don’t neglect your physical health: Yes, those cookies and alcoholic beverages are almost as tempting as the cold, snowy weather is discouraging to your exercise regime, but try to maintain good physical health during the holidays. You should treat yourself, but don’t forget to exercise, eat something healthy, drink plenty of water, and sleep well. 
• Get outside, especially when it’s sunny: Sunlight has a mood-boosting effect, so don’t let a sunny day pass you by! Get outside, invite a friend, exercise, or simply soak in the rays. 
• Listen to your emotions: Don’t try to shove everything down; there’s a reason you’re feeling the way you are and that's okay. Instead of ignoring it, listen to what your emotions are trying to say. What are you feeling? What is the cause? Some of it may be rational, but some of it may not. Both are okay. 
• Have a safety plan: If you know dinner with your parents will be a triggering night, plan for how you will deal with all of those emotions beforehand. Maybe a friend can pick you up, or you can go exercise to blow off steam afterward. 
• Do things for yourself: The holidays can be an especially selfless time; you’re constantly expected to give to others. While giving and acts of kindness can boost mental health, it’s important to not neglect your own health. Take time to do something just for you today.
• Be in Community: Recognize that this holiday season is going to be difficult for many people, and help each other through it. Ask how you can support your friends and tell them how they can support you in return.

These are just a few things you can do to support your mental health this season. If you are struggling, a therapist can also help. 

When to see a therapist for holiday depression

There are some things self-care and talking to a friend won’t help; mental illness is one of those. If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, substance abuse, seasonal depression, or any other mental health issue this Christmas season, talk to a therapist. 

Therapy can also help if you are more stressed or sad than usual; a counselor can help you get through the hard times. 

Seeing a therapist is a good idea if: 

• You frequently turn towards alcohol and drugs to cope.
• You are isolating and withdrawing from people around you. 
• You feel unable to find joy or hope in anything. 
• You feel so anxious or wound up that you can’t function. 
• You haven’t been sleeping or eating well because of your mental health. 
• You have thoughts of self-harm or suicide. 

These are just a few signs that could point you toward therapy. It is by no means a conclusive list. If you are struggling, reach out. You don’t deserve to struggle alone, and therapy is proven to be effective in helping you navigate challenges and improve mental health. 

Lifebulb Counseling and Therapy has online therapists who accept most major insurance plans. Contact our team to be scheduled with one today or browse our list of therapists near you to find one that fits your needs. 

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