Relationship Anxiety: Know the Signs, Causes & Effects That 90% Couples Don’t Know About.

Is It Normal to Have Relationship Anxiety?

Yes! Relationship Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of - it's a natural part of being human. But when those worries and doubts dominate your thoughts, it can seriously harm your relationship and well-being. Did you know, as per a recent study, around 30% of individuals around America have been diagnosed with relationship anxiety? 

If left unchecked, relationship anxiety can hold you back from growing with your partner and even impact other areas of your life. It can also mess with your head, making it hard to trust your partner and interpret your feelings.

Worst of all, relationship anxiety can lead to separation anxiety or burnout - outcomes nobody wants.

The good news is that relationship anxiety can be managed. Recognizing the signs and taking proactive steps can help you overcome those nagging doubts and build a stronger, healthier relationship.

What are the common signs of relationship anxiety?

Relationship anxiety is a common issue that plagues many individuals in relationships. However, the good news is that recognizing the signs of relationship anxiety can be the first step towards addressing it and building a healthier, more robust partnership.

Here are the most common and vital signs of relationship anxiety that you need to look out for:

1. Fear of Commitment: Individuals with relationship anxiety often fear commitment or vulnerability due to previous negative experiences or discomfort in expressing emotions. They may feel that relationships are confining and struggle with putting labels on them, which can increase their anxiety levels.
2. Ending Relationships Before They Begin: Those with relationship anxiety may have a pattern of cutting people off before the relationship becomes more serious, keeping potential partners at arm's length, or engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors. This can be a defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt or rejected.
3. Not Telling Your Needs & Desires Because You Are Afraid: Building a healthy relationship requires trust and honesty. However, those with relationship anxiety may be reluctant to share their thoughts and feelings. They fear expressing their needs and desires could lead to rejection or abandonment.
4. Doubting Your Partner's Intentions: Individuals with relationship anxiety may continuously worry that their partner will "find someone better," doubt whether their partner truly cares for them, or constantly be concerned that their partner will break up with them over little or non-existent reasons.
5. Questioning You & Your Partner's Compatibility: Relationship anxiety can cause individuals to focus excessively on differences between themselves and their partner, such as having different tastes in music or movies. They may spend more time worrying about these minor differences than appreciating where they are compatible.
6. Overthinking His or Her Words & Actions: People with relationship anxiety may read too much into their partner's actions and words, assuming that they don't like them. For example, if their partner prefers to limit public displays of affection or makes a joke about a quirky part of their personality, they may think it means that their partner doesn't care about them.
7. Spending More Time Worrying Rather Than Enjoying: It's normal to have moments of worry or doubt in a relationship, but if these negative emotions dominate your thoughts, it may be a sign of relationship anxiety. Constantly worrying about the relationship can prevent you from thoroughly enjoying your time with your partner.

Suppose you recognize any of these signs in yourself. In that case, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor to address your relationship anxiety and learn coping strategies to manage it.

What are its causes?

Understanding the root cause of your relationship anxiety can be a complex process that requires deep self-exploration. It's important to note that there isn't a single, clear-cut cause for relationship anxiety, and identifying potential factors can be challenging.

Here are some common factors that may contribute to relationship anxiety:

• Past relationship experiences: Past relationships can significantly impact our current experiences. These memories can be triggered by certain events or situations, even if you're not consciously aware of them. If you've been cheated on, dumped unexpectedly, or lied to in the past, it's understandable that you might have trouble trusting a new partner.
• Low self-esteem: People with low self-esteem may be more likely to doubt their partner's feelings when experiencing self-doubt themselves. This can lead to projecting their negative feelings onto their partner, causing relationship anxiety. On the other hand, people with higher levels of self-esteem tend to affirm themselves through their relationships when experiencing self-doubt.
• Attachment style: The attachment style you develop in childhood can significantly impact your adult relationships. A secure attachment style, developed from consistent love and support from a caregiver, can help you feel secure in your relationships. However, an insecure attachment style can contribute to relationship anxiety in various ways. Avoidant attachment can lead to anxiety about deepening intimacy, while anxious attachment can result in fears of abandonment.
• An urge to question everything: Some people are naturally inclined to question everything, including their relationships. While it's healthy to take time to think about important decisions, constantly questioning your relationship can lead to self-doubt and anxiety. If you find yourself stuck in an endless pattern of questioning without making progress, it might be time to reevaluate your approach.

It's important to remember that relationship anxiety doesn't necessarily mean you're in a bad relationship or something is wrong with you. By identifying the underlying causes of your anxiety, you can work towards addressing them and developing a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

How does relationship anxiety affect one's life?

Relationship anxiety can significantly impact one's life and well-being. It can cause unease, doubt, and insecurity, making it difficult to enjoy and engage in a relationship entirely. The constant worry and fear of being hurt or rejected can lead to overthinking and obsessing over every detail, causing stress and taking a toll on mental health. This can lead to physical symptoms such as loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, and fatigue.

Relationship anxiety can also cause people to push away potential partners or sabotage their relationships, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation. It can affect one's ability to communicate and express their needs in a relationship, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. 

Over time, relationship anxiety can impact self-esteem and confidence, making it difficult to trust and form deep connections with others. 

Expert Advised ways to overcome and deal with relationship anxiety.

Understand the Root Cause of Your Anxiety

Take some time to reflect on what might be causing your relationship anxiety. Is it a past trauma or negative experience, a fear of vulnerability, or a lack of trust? Once you have identified the root cause, it will be easier to address and work on overcoming it.

Acknowledge and Validate Your Emotions

Being open and honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings is essential. Keeping your emotions bottled up can lead to increased anxiety and stress. Being transparent and discussing your fears and concerns with your partner can help alleviate anxiety and strengthen your relationship.

Practice Self-Calming Techniques to Manage Anxiety

When you feel anxiety creeping in, try self-soothing techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. These techniques can help you calm your mind and body, reducing the impact of anxiety on your relationship.

Cultivate Relationships Based on Trust and Support

Surround yourself with supportive people who can help build your trust and confidence. This might include friends, family, or a therapist. A robust support system can help you work through anxieties and build a healthier relationship.

Confront and Resolve Conflicts or Disagreements 

Conflict is a normal part of any relationship, but it’s essential to address it constructively. Avoiding conflicts or ignoring issues can increase anxiety and damage the relationship. Instead, work together to find solutions that work for both of you and prioritize open communication.

Differentiate Between Feelings and Reality

It’s essential to acknowledge and validate your feelings, but it’s also important to recognize that your feelings may not always be based on facts. Try to take a step back and objectively evaluate your thoughts and feelings to avoid unnecessary anxiety.

Show Gratitude to Those Who Offer Support

Take time to express gratitude to the supportive people who have helped you work through your anxiety. Showing appreciation can strengthen relationships and create a positive environment.

Seek Therapy to Work Through Your Thoughts and Emotions

Therapy is an effective tool to explore and understand the underlying causes of your relationship anxiety. By addressing negative thought patterns and past experiences, therapy can help you develop coping skills and strategies to manage your anxiety and improve your overall well-being. Whether you or your partner is struggling with anxiety, seeking therapy can provide a safe and supportive environment to work through your anxious thoughts and gain clarity on maintaining a healthy relationship.

Remember, seeking therapy is a courageous step toward healing, and there is no shame in asking for help. To find a therapist who can best support you, consider using an online therapist directory to connect with a licensed professional in your area. By taking the time to prioritize your mental health, you are investing in your personal growth and the health of your relationships.

In summary, dealing with relationship anxiety requires introspection, communication, self-care, and professional support. By following these effective ways to overcome and deal with relationship anxiety, you can build a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

Anxiety Therapy or Relationship Therapy: The most apt method to treat relationship anxiety.

If you're struggling with relationship anxiety, it's essential to know that effective treatments are available to help you manage your symptoms and improve your relationship. Two popular therapy options are anxiety therapy and relationship therapy.

Anxiety therapy is focused on helping individuals manage their anxiety symptoms. It can be beneficial if you're experiencing relationship anxiety but don't necessarily need to work on the relationship itself. In therapy, you'll learn tools and techniques to cope with anxious thoughts and feelings and develop strategies to manage anxiety. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common type of anxiety therapy that's been shown to be effective in treating anxiety disorders.

Couples therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) are common types of relationship therapy that can help couples improve their relationship and manage anxiety symptoms. On the other hand, relationship therapy is focused on working on the relationship itself. It can be helpful if you and your partner are struggling with communication, conflict resolution, or other related issues contributing to your anxiety. In therapy, you'll learn skills to improve communication, build trust, and deepen intimacy.

Ultimately, the best approach for treating relationship anxiety depends on your needs and circumstances. It may be helpful to start with anxiety therapy to manage your symptoms and then transition to relationship therapy to work on the relationship itself. Or, you may find that relationship therapy is the most helpful approach for your situation. Working with a qualified therapist who can help you determine the best approach for you and provide the support you need to overcome relationship anxiety is essential.

Final words

Relationship anxiety is a common issue many couples face, but it should not be ignored or brushed aside. By recognizing the signs and causes of relationship anxiety, you can take proactive steps to address the issue and work towards a healthier, happier relationship.

Whether you seek individual therapy to work on personal issues contributing to your anxiety or couples therapy to improve communication and build trust, know that help is available.

At Lifebulb, we understand the complexities of relationships and the unique challenges that come with them. Our skilled therapists can provide you with the support and guidance you need to overcome relationship anxiety and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship with your partner.

Don't let anxiety rob you of the joy and love that comes with a healthy relationship. Take the first step towards healing, and contact us today to schedule an appointment. Together, we can work towards creating a happier, healthier relationship that lasts.