How can I get your relationship back on track?

Rebuilding a relationship can begin with open, honest communication and a mutual commitment to understanding each other's needs. Seeking support from a qualified couples therapist can provide valuable guidance as you navigate the process of healing and strengthening your bond.

What is the 2 2 2 rule in marriage?

The 2 2 2 rule in marriage encourages intentional connection by setting aside dedicated time for communication, intimacy, and shared experiences. It is a guideline that recommends going on a date every two weeks, taking a weekend together every two months, and going on a longer vacation together every two years.

Can you become attracted to your spouse again?

Rekindling attraction within a marriage is possible through deliberate efforts to nurture emotional and physical connections. Engaging in new experiences, expressing genuine appreciation, and exploring ways to prioritize intimacy can reignite feelings of attraction and strengthen the bond between partners.

How to fix a loveless relationship?

Addressing a loveless relationship may involve seeking professional guidance from a therapist to explore underlying issues and work towards fostering emotional connection and understanding. Open communication, empathy, and a willingness to actively engage in rebuilding trust and intimacy can lay the foundation for revitalizing a loveless relationship.

How to rebuild a connection in your relationship

Q: How do I become close to my partner again?

Reconnecting with your partner often involves carving out quality time for meaningful conversations and shared activities. Engaging in acts of kindness, expressing appreciation, and actively listening to your partner's feelings can foster closeness and deepen emotional intimacy.

Maybe you’ve hit rock bottom. Maybe you can feel the relationship you once knew slipping away. Maybe you feel more like a roommate than a romantic partner. Wherever you’re at in your relationship, you’ve come to an important decision: It’s time to rebuild the connection.

Rebuilding intimacy and connection in a relationship that has grown stale with time and routine is no easy feat, but it’s not impossible either. Follow these tips to fall in love again.

How Do I Become Close to My Partner Again?

Remember those days of butterflies and electricity? When every side glance and stray touch left you breathless? Is it possible to get back to those days and their all-consuming romance?

Yes and no. It is entirely possible to have a passionate, loving relationship. However, getting back to the honeymoon stage requires brain chemicals that won’t come as easily. When we first fall in love, our brains release a lot of dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. On their own, these are the “feel-good” and adrenaline chemicals. Together, they’re a cocktail for falling in love.

These are the chemicals that keep you coming back to your partner in the beginning. They are what make doing the dishes with them so fun. They are also what drives the higher libidos found in early relationships. (It’s entirely normal to have a lower libido as your relationship progresses and is not a sign of a doomed relationship.)

As you fall in love and become committed, your brain will switch to oxytocin, which is the chemical that promotes long-term bonds. It is the chemical that is released during childbirth to secure the bond between mother and child. This long-term chemical is not as flashy or high-energy as dopamine, serotonin, or norepinephrine, and therefore you get less of that butterflies and electric shock feeling.

Does this mean you’re doomed to a boring and stale relationship? Not at all! Love is still a wonderful, energetic, and powerful thing. It might require more action than it did in the early stages, where your brain chemicals did most of the heavy lifting.

So, how do you fall back in love with your partner? Here are some tips.

10 Steps to Fall in Love Again

Address any underlying problems. Why did you fall out of love? Was it the monotony of a routine and forgetting to make time for one another? Or was it a lack of communication, infidelity issues, or disrespecting boundaries? Was it more than one thing? Make a list and start to work on these problem areas. None of them mean your relationship is doomed, but not addressing them will lead to resentment.
Become communication pros. All relationships need strong communication. Learn how to communicate with one another and do it all the time. Hold each other accountable for communicating well.
Learn each other’s love language. There are 5 love languages: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and gift giving (although you can get more specific than that). Learn what makes your partner smile, and strive to see that smile every day.
Bring novelty into your relationship. Doing new, exciting things together is scientifically proven to boost commitment and feelings of affection for one another. Go on an adventure and try new things together. This could be as elaborate as a travel trip together, or as simple as trying pottery, cooking, or dance class together. Or, if you have a routine, make an effort to change it up.
Live by the 2-2-2 rule. The 2-2-2 rule in marriage is a way to prevent couples from getting into a slump. It states that every 2 weeks, you and your partner should go out in the evening. Every 2 months, take a weekend trip. And every 2 years, take a longer vacation. Call out: This isn’t possible for every relationship, especially if you have kids, but the sentiment remains the same: don’t let your partner grow into someone you don’t know. Keep up with them in all stages of life and get to know them as you and they grow.
Surprise one another: When you first started dating, everything was fresh and new. Surprises were bountiful. Now, with a routine in place and responsibilities stacking up, your surprises have to be more purposeful. Surprise one another with a little treat at the end of the day, by doing one of their chores for them, or with a date night.
Overuse “I love you”: Don’t let days, weeks, and even months go without letting your partner know that you love them. Even if you’re not one to say those exact words, make sure you tell them in some other way.
Put intimate time on your calendar: It might not sound very sexy to pencil in when you’re physically intimate with your partner, but with the busy schedules of adult life, making time to be with one another is a great way to ensure you stay together.
Don’t neglect non-sexual physical touch: Hold hands while you walk in the grocery store. Cuddle on the couch after work. Give short good-bye kisses. This sort of non-sexual physical touch is a great way to strengthen your bond and affection for one another.
Check-in daily. Many therapists recommend talking intentionally with your partner for at least 20 minutes a day. This could be at dinner, on your drive to work, or as you’re getting ready in the morning. This is a time to debrief your partner on your day and anything else that might have been happening or on your mind.
See a couples therapist: If you are still struggling with your connection and relationship feeling loveless, talk to a couples therapist. They can help you get to the root of the issue and solve it.

As you grow in a relationship, love will have to become an action. Connection takes effort.

Can couples therapy help us fall back in love?

Yes! A couples therapist or marriage counselor is a great way to work through your issues, reestablish commitment, practice good communication and boundaries, and build intimacy. Don’t neglect your relationship just because it's easy. You and your partner deserve the kind of love that’s everlasting; a couples therapist can help you get there.

Ready to see a couples therapist today? Contact Lifebulb’s support team. We can get you matched with a counselor who can meet your needs. Alternatively, you can browse our couples therapists to find someone you both feel comfortable with. Being able to be vulnerable around your therapist is important.

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