How to Get the Most Out of Therapy: What to Talk About in Session

Things to Talk About in Therapy

You’re in therapy for a reason, but sometimes that reason can be hard to articulate. You want positive change in your life, but you’re not sure what you have to change to get there. A therapist can help, but a therapist can only work with what you give them. They’re not mindreaders, so if you don’t provide the information, then they won’t be able to help you piece it all together. 

A good therapist will be able to guide you through your first few sessions through prompts and questions. They’re experts on nonverbal body language, too, so they will probably pick up the things you don’t say as well. 

But knowing how to open up and talk to your therapist is still a vitally important skill. Nonverbal communication will only get you so far. Here are 7 things you can talk to your therapist about. 

Call Out: Ready to Get Started with Therapy Today? Read our Ultimate Guide on Starting Therapy

How You Feel About Therapy

Knowing your approach to therapy will help your therapist structure sessions to make you more comfortable. Consider these questions and talk to your therapist about the answers:

• What brought you to therapy?
• What do you hope to get out of therapy sessions?
• Are you hesitant about any part of the therapy process? If so, what part and how come? 
• Do you have any past experiences with therapy? What were they like?

Any other questions you may have about the therapy process, like how long therapy will take, what you’re “allowed” to talk about (hint: everything!), or how long before you start feeling better. 

How You Feel About Yourself

Your relationship with yourself is possibly the most important relationship there is. Consider:

• If you have a positive, negative, or neutral image of yourself. 
• What parts of yourself do you like, and what parts do you not like?
• Are there any sides of yourself that you don’t want other people to see?
• What are you proud of? 
• If you could change anything about yourself what would it be? 

Self-esteem and self-regard are two topics that are heavily important in mental health. 

What’s Going On In Your Relationships

Our relationships make up a lot of our mental health. You can explore:

• Your childhood and family dynamics
• The relationship you have with your parents now
• Romantic or sexual romantics and any tensions that might be occurring.
• Friendships
• Loneliness or the lack of community
• Dynamics between coparenting or children 
• Issues with coworkers or employers
• Communication issues

It’s impossible to avoid relationships, and they have a big impact on our mental health. Talking about them in a therapy session gives your therapist a good idea of what is going on in your life that could be contributing to mental health symptoms. 

What Your Inner Thought Life Has Been Like

Our thoughts are a big focus on therapy, especially in treatment methods like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. You can talk about:

• Are your thoughts racing and fast or slow and sluggish? Do you have a lot of thoughts during the day or not many? 
• Are your thoughts generally positive or negative? How do they make you feel? 
• Do they loop around worst-case scenarios or seem bogged down by sad, hopeless thoughts?
• What do you think about it a lot? 

You might not be able to answer some of these questions, and that’s okay. That is good information to know. Understanding what your thought life is like, even if it is only to understand that you don't know what your thought life is like, is important information for your therapist. 

What’s Been Happening In Your Daily Life

You wake up, go to work, talk to people, eat food, and maybe relax at the end of the day. It all seems like routine to you, but it’s news to your therapist. You can talk to them about:

• Your daily routine
• How you feel about your routine: Do you feel overwhelmed and exhausted? Or empty and unfulfilled? Maybe a little bit of both. 
• What habits do you keep coming back to? Are they habits you’re happy with? 
• How do you fill your time when you’re not actively working or doing something? Do you scroll a lot? If you do, what’s your page like? 

Taking a closer look at your daily routine can provide a closer look into your mental health and what could be hindering or helping it. 

What You Wish You or Your Life Were Like

Finally, it’s important not only to talk about where you are now, but also where you want to be. 

• What are the goals you gave up on or haven’t reached yet?
• Where do you see yourself in a year or five? Are you happy with that image? 
• How do you want to improve or grow? 
• Where do you want to be in a few years time? 
• What’s stopping you from being the person you want to be today? 

A therapist’s ultimate goal is to help you bring that dream self into your reality, while maintaining healthy mental health and overall well-being. 

How to Get the Most Out of Therapy

Talking to your therapist is a great second step. You’ve already shown up (a huge first step!), and you’ve started opening up about yourself and your life. 

Now what? How can you capitalize on the one hour you have with your therapist? Here are some tips: 

• Be vulnerable: You might talk about uncomfortable things. Memories you would rather not remember might be brought up. Fight to stay vulnerable and open through these moments. 

Not feeling comfortable enough to be vulnerable with your therapist could be a red flag. Learn about more therapist red flags here. 

• Communicate discomfort: Therapy can be hard and uncomfortable at times, but your therapist should be able to accommodate you through the more difficult sessions. They can help you stay regulated during a session and provide enough time to transition out of a therapy session and back into the real world after a difficult session. Just make sure you tell them how you’re feeling. 
• Don’t worry about being professional: Your therapist’s job is to be professional. Your job is to be yourself. Talk how you normally would, crack jokes if it makes you more comfortable, and talk about what you want to talk about. 
• Don’t hold back: You don’t have to worry about being polite or being too weird or too much. It is literally your therapist’s job to handle “too much” (although we don’t believe there’s such a thing!).
• Don’t be afraid to share your emotions: A therapy session is a safe space to cry, laugh, dissociate, and get angry. You might be exploring ideas or memories that spark these feelings in you. Let yourself feel them and show them. Your therapist can help you work through them in a healthy way. 

The fact that you are starting therapy shows your commitment to living a brighter tomorrow, and you should be proud of yourself for that. Take the next step by putting in the effort to make every therapy session great. 

The first step of good therapy is finding a therapist that fits your needs. Learn about the different types of therapists in this article. 

Get Started with a Therapist Near You

If you don’t have a therapist yet but want to get started, contact Lifebulb Counseling. We have online and in-person therapists who are ready and eager to help you.

Don’t put therapy off another day. Contact our team to be scheduled with a therapist near you or browse our therapist directory to find someone who fits your needs. 

Find Your Therapist