Couples Therapy in Cherry Hill, NJ

Marriage Issues After Having Kids? Couples Therapy Can Help

Kids change the whole infrastructure of your relationship. What was once “You and me” becomes “You, me, and them”. It’s normal for relationships to change after having children. If having a baby ruined your marriage, then it’s time to talk to a Cherry Hill Couples Therapist.

Couples Therapists With Weekend and Evening Availability - Online or In-Person

We know having kids means having a tight schedule. That’s why we offer online therapy sessions and weekend and evening availability. Choose from an online or in-person couples therapist in Cherry Hill and start reviving your relationship.

Having a Baby Ruined My Marriage

Having a child is exhausting. From waking up every two hours when they’re newborns to the “terrible twos” to all the wonderful and messy stages that follow, having a kid changes things. Some couples grow closer together, their love deepening. Others grow distant as their talks become purely logistical and their time together limited. Most have some combination of the two, with natural ebbs and flows as their lives continue to adapt. If you are stuck in a downward spiral, talking to a couples therapist is vital. Cherry Hill couples therapists have availability for later this week and can see you morning, evening, or on weekends.

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Why Do Marriages Struggle After Having a Baby?

It’s common for marriages to struggle after having a baby. The first three years of raising a child are especially difficult for many reasons, including:

Communication breakdowns can lead one partner to do the bulk of the child-rearing. Even in the case when one partner works, and the other is a stay-at-home parent, child-rearing responsibilities should be divided equally according to time, energy, and other personal factors. What this division looks like depends heavily on your relationship. A couples counselor can help you decide together what the division of labor should be. This process involves good communication skills and conflict resolution skills, which a Cherry Hill marriage therapist can also help with.

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If you have a young child or infant, you don’t have to be told how exhausting it is. 1-month-olds sleep a little under 6 hours a night and need to be fed or soothed 2 to 4 times. Although they’re usually sleeping for 9.5 to 11 hours by 6 months old, the sleep is still rarely continuous. Sleep deprivation can lead to mental health issues like anxiety and depression, and it can put a huge strain on your relationship. Communication breakdown, irritability, and reduced problem-solving all contribute to relationship strain.

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Possibly the hardest-hitting shift is actually the change in relationship dynamic. It used to be you two against the world. Now, you have a whole other person that has needs and opinions (that they often express quite loudly). The shift from being the center of each other’s universe to having a child be the center of your universe can be painful for many couples, as well as put a strain on their connection and intimacy. A marriage counselor will help you find time for one another while processing the complex emotions surrounding this relationship shift.

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How to Strengthen Marriage After Having a Baby

After your baby is born, take note of where you are both struggling the most. Then, make a game plan. A marriage therapist can help you pinpoint your biggest stressors.

Help one another get the sleep they need. Maybe this means trading off who takes the baby for the night or taking turns napping. Try to focus on getting uninterrupted sleep for at least 1.5 hours a time (how long it takes for your body to complete a REM cycle of restorative sleep). Your body and brain can’t function without sleep. Sleep can go a long way in reducing relationship conflicts during the first year of raising a child.

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You are facing one of the greatest challenges and joys of your life, together. Acknowledge that it will be hard and you will get annoyed at your partner sometimes. But beyond that, make a verbal commitment to each other. “I’ll be there for you.” “Tell me where you’re struggling.” “I love you.” Act without being asked. Check off some of the never-ending to-do lists. Work together, not against one another.

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Around 70% of couples leave marriage therapy happier than when they started. Especially when you have something as big as raising a newborn, marriage therapy can be instrumental in working through problems and keeping your relationship healthy.

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Book With a Couples Therapist Near You

You don’t have to wait until you’re both at your breaking point to talk to a marriage therapist. Marriage therapy is for anyone, no matter what stage of the relationship they’re at. We accept most major insurances and have no waitlist. Talk to your Cherry Hill marriage therapist today.

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