Aug 25, 2023
Marriage counseling is a form of psychological therapy for couples whose relationship is ending or on the verge of ending. This treatment of therapy depends on different marriages and different situations. Even the happiest couple can have trouble in their relationship. The main objective of marriage counseling is for the couple to identify the problems between them and find solutions to deal with those problems, sometimes these problems can test even the strongest of bonds.
The biggest problem faced by couples who go for marriage therapy is heavy conflicts between them and growing distance in their relationship. Day-to-day small problems can also become the cause of distance in your relationship. According to some experts, couples wait for years to seek outside advice, which can sometimes be disastrous for their relationship because the sooner you resolve the matter, the less problems the relationship will have.
What is marriage counseling?
Marriage counseling is a type of psychotherapy for married couples to try to resolve the problems in their relationship. Under this, husband and wife (both partners) go to a professional psychologist, counsellor or therapist together and he helps both in the direction of improving the relationship.
Establishing the context
In the era of equality, women have become independent, independent and the role of husband and wife in the marital relationship is changing. Since both earn money, it is expected of the woman of the house that the division of housework should also be equal. This change is not usually accepted by men. Relationships are strained as women who expect equality often face disappointment at the family level. This has increased the number of couples coming for divorce. This is destabilizing the future of the next generation. Children become insecure and premature adults due to lack of safe environment at home.
This is why young people should think carefully before getting married, whether we can meet each other's expectations before getting married, whether our minds, thoughts and living conditions are going to match, it is necessary to think about all these things. Hence premarital counseling becomes important to prevent this rising divorce rate. Even if your relationship isn't facing major problems right now, marriage counseling can serve as a preventative measure. By learning effective communication and conflict resolution skills, you can strengthen your bond and navigate future challenges more easily. Here are the reasons why you may need marriage counselling:
1. Communication Issues & Lack of Understanding:
Communication breakdown is a serious problem. It can be challenging to express thoughts and emotions which often leads to misunderstandings. Marriage counseling aims to equip couples with communication skills promoting empathy and mutual understanding. If conflicts have escalated without resolution counseling offers strategies to manage disagreements constructively and find ground.
2. Concerns About Intimacy:
Nurturing intimacy is an aspect of any marriage. If you're facing difficulties in this area a marriage counsellor can help address factors and rebuild intimacy. This may involve exploring barriers addressing experiences that impact intimacy and finding ways to reignite the emotional and physical connection between partners.
3. Healing after Infidelity:
Infidelity damages trust within a relationship and the journey toward healing can be complex. Marriage counseling provides an environment where emotions can be openly explored trust rebuilt and progress made towards healing. It involves conversations about the reasons behind the infidelity its impact on both partners and steps towards rebuilding trust while reaffirming commitment to the relationship.
4. Adjusting to Life Changes:
Transitions in life such, as becoming parents, career shifts or experiencing a nest can put strain on relationships. Marriage counseling assists couples in adapting to these changes while preserving their bond. It centers on discovering methods to provide assistance adapting roles and obligations and preserving emotional intimacy despite the changing situations.
5. Overcoming a Sense of Stagnation:
When feeling trapped or encountering boredom it indicates a necessity, for modification. Seeking counseling revitalizes your bond and assists in charting a course, as partners. This entails recognizing interests establishing objectives and exploring unique approaches to cultivate the flame in your relationship.
6. Financial Stress:
Marriages can be impacted by stress related to money. Counseling can equip you with methods to deal with financial inequalities and establish a joint approach to managing money. Moreover, handling the health problems of one partner can be a considerable difficulty. Seeking help from a marriage counsellor can assist in creating a financial plan, enhancing communication about money, and managing the emotional effects of financial stress.
7. Addressing Past Trauma:
Past trauma casts a shadow on your current relationship. Counseling resolves past wounds or lingering issues, paving the way for emotional healing. A marriage counsellor creates a safe space for discussing and processing trauma, helping both partners understand and support each other's healing journey.
8. Family Dynamics:
Navigating in-law relationships and blended families is intricate. Marriage counselors guide you in setting boundaries and managing these complexities. They provide techniques for effective co-parenting, handling conflicts between step-siblings, and fostering a harmonious family environment.
9. Work-life Balance:
When one or both partners fail to allocate time for their relationship, conflicts are likely to arise. This often prompts the need for marriage counseling to address the underlying issues. Seeking guidance from a marriage counsellor involves posing marriage counseling questions. If you're contemplating whether marriage counseling is effective in achieving a healthy work-life balance, rest assured that it is. Marriage counselors offer solutions to establish a harmonious work-life equilibrium, facilitating the seamless functioning of your relationship.
The process of marriage counselling
Marriage counseling is usually done by psychologists and therapists who are specially trained for this. Every psychologist has different vigilance. Many of these people specialize in 'Marriage and Family Counselling'. There are certain rules of ridge counseling which the therapist tells both partners in the first session. For example:
Two methods are used in marriage counseling:
1) Systematic Therapy- It tries to solve people's problems by going to the level of their family and social background. For example, if one partner is from a family where both his parents were very busy with their work, not paying attention to his life and the other partner is from a family where the children are always parents. There will be a gap in the nature of the two that is kept under supervision. In such a situation, the therapist examines the hidden reasons for the differences between the two and tries to resolve them.
2) Behavioral Therapy- In this the therapist does not go too far back and explores the reasons for the differences or the family and social background. He directly examines people's behavior and tries to change it and improve it.
Case specifics
-Compatibility and Personality Problems- Problems caused by differences in temperament, behavior, thinking and life style of married couples.
-Problems with in-laws and relatives
-Extramarital affair
-Parenting matters (problems related to children)
Apart from this, issues such as not being able to give time to each other, being too active on social media (internet), not being emotionally available to each other are also seen a lot these days.
How does counseling work?
Marriage counseling can also be generally called couple counseling. This is done so that problems between couples, whether married or unmarried, can be identified and resolved. Marriage counseling is mostly done by licensed therapists who are also known as marriage and family therapists. The process to be followed for the treatment of different situations may be different for different experts.
- The therapist will ask about your history, matters etc. and it is best if you answer the questions asked about your relationship, matters and your feelings honestly and openly.
- Based on the findings/conclusions after talking to you, the therapist may want to talk to you and your partner separately. After the initial session is over, the therapist will give you his feedback based on his conclusions and tell you about the treatment.
- You will have to attend some sessions depending on your case and your relationship situation. The purpose behind all these sessions and treatments offered by the therapist is that you can talk openly about your matter with the therapist and help you by discussing it with your partner.
- It is natural to have disagreements and quarrels in married life. But both need to be careful that differences do not escalate into extreme fights.
- Once it is realized that neither of the two can always act according to each other's mind, the tendency to ignore the trivial matters increases and many aspects of married life become easier.
- Imposing your views on others and forcing them to do what you want is a very dangerous attitude that can destroy a happy world in a very short time.
- Neither of the two should strictly avoid comparing each other with anyone else. Two persons can never be compared.
- Everyone needs space to enjoy their own world very quietly, and it is the duty the couple to acknowledge and understand the need for space of the significant other.
Marital counseling teaches you to develop an attitude of acceptance. Preparing the mind for relationships, needs, extensions, limitations, compromises etc. Counseling can prevent many future crises. But even today pamphlets are given importance in our society. But through premarital counseling we can actually decide whether we can stay with that person as a lifelong partner. A blue-print of your partner's entire life is presented to you. Sometimes family counseling is also done as needed. Communication is the key to a successful marriage.
In relation to marriage, the couple may have many questions about the relationship apart from the physical relationship. But friends and family do not have the answers to these questions. In such cases, a marriage counsellor is the person who can clear your doubts. Marriage counseling helps both of them to open up about the things that they are hesitant to talk about. Then a good communication is established between both.
Marriage counseling is a type of family counseling that focuses specifically on marriage and relationships. It solves the problems of couples who want to bring back love in their relationship. They don't care what is the reason for the rift between the two. It highlights the issues in the relationship that are causing problems in the relationship. However, many people think about this counseling, couples who are about to divorce or separate, want marriage counseling. But the truth is that all marriages go through ups and downs at one point or another, for whom it is helpful.
During the counselling you can talk about your own thoughts and feelings but the counsellor doesn't blame anyone. The counseller understands well that mistakes can happen to anyone while living in a relationship, so it is very wrong to judge them. Marriage is such a relationship, in which two different environments come and they argue that they will stay together. In this way, their behavior, their habits can all be different. A marriage counsellor not only understands both of you deeply but also works on those things, due to which your relationship can be better than before.
It may be that both of you have seen some such pain in your married life, which is causing the separation of both of you. It may be that you lost your child or some such incident which has become lodged in your mind in such a way that after which both of you are angry with each other. In this way, the counsellor not only tries to understand your pain but also gives advice to move forward in life by removing the pain. He knows very well how to get both of you out of this situation
Conclusion
Marriage is that turning point in life, which completely changes your lifestyle. Marital counseling helps the married couple to understand the new lifestyle and adapt themselves to the new environment. However, when the relationship becomes strained, counseling is needed to understand the responsibilities and perform them properly. By taking into account the marital issues through counselling, the responsibilities towards each other are better understood.
Marriage counselors talk to couples not only about positive things but also about things that they don't want to talk about or hesitate to talk about, on the contrary it is important to know before marriage if you are really made for each other. Can you support each other emotionally, physically and financially? Do both of you feel the same way about your relationship? The answers to these questions can tell you whether you are really ready for marriage or not.
Marriage counselors help couples in marriage because of present as well as future matters like family planning, relationship planning with in-laws, financial planning etc. By making plans, they bring not only love but also practical considerations into their relationship.
