Mar 4, 2025
Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) was developed in the 1980s by Richard C. Schwartz. Since then, it has grown in popularity and has proven itself highly effective in treating mental health concerns, especially among people who do not find Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy effective.
IFS might be a good option for you if you struggle with deeply rooted self-hatred or guilt, have many co-occurring illnesses, or have other methods of talk therapy with no effect. This article will go over the techniques of IFS, how it works, and what to expect during a session of IFS.
What is Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)?
Despite its name, IFS is not always a family therapy technique. Although it certainly can be and is used by many family therapists, it has recently begun to grow in popularity amongst individual therapists who provide one-on-one therapy.
Through his work as an individual psychotherapist, Richard Schwartz began to notice patterns in how his clients spoke of themselves. He noticed clients speaking about “parts” of themselves. For example, “A part of me just hates myself.” or “There’s a part of me that can’t forgive them.”
He began to conceive of these parts as individual members of the mind. The mind became a family, and the “parts” were individual members with their own goals and fears. Together, the parts interacted and worked together to bring about the whole.
IFS is still an emerging field of talk therapy and does not have a huge wealth of evidence supporting it; however, the research that has been done has shown IFS to be effective. The research has included effectiveness for treating dissociation and dissociative disorders, trauma and PTSD, depression, eating disorders, and even rheumatoid arthritis, which suggests potential for holistic and cross-body treatments.
How Does IFS Therapy Work?
IFS teaches that there is one core, true “self”. However, as we live and experience trauma and stressful life events, parts of ourselves must awaken to protect this true self. These parts are not always the healthiest; they are simply doing what they think they must do to survive. This can include unhealthy coping mechanisms like people pleasing (a fawn response), dissociation (a freeze or flight response), or anger issues (a fight response).
IFS therapy will focus on communicating with these parts to understand how you can feel safe again. Oftentimes this is done by giving that part space to heal, grieve, and be listened to.
Let’s look at an example.
Therapists often hear clients speak of hating themselves. “I think I just hate myself.” or “Sometimes I can’t stand myself.” This type of low self-esteem is common in mental health conditions. But when prodded, a lot of people can also list things they do like about themselves.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy may prompt us to reframe these negative thoughts to take away their power. While this can be very helpful, it doesn’t stop some people from feeling that they feel self-hatred. “I know I’m not actually a bad person, but I still feel like I’m the worst.”
When reframing your thoughts doesn’t work, understanding them might. A therapist conducting IFS may ask you to focus on the part of yourself that hates you. They may have you visualize this part as a separate entity and have a conversation with them. Through this conversation with yourself, you’ll explore what purpose that self-hatred has—such as to protect yourself from failure or disappointment.
Once you know what purpose these parts have, you can work to show them empathy and understanding. Ultimately, you’ll give those parts space to heal so they no longer feel the need to act out on their unhealthy coping mechanisms.
The Three Main Parts of IFS
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There are three main parts that a therapist may have you talk to when you are doing IFS. These are:
- The Managers: The underlying goal of the manager part is to protect the self from harm by any means necessary, often taking control of thoughts and behavior to steer the self away from real or perceived harm. Managers can have unhealthy ways of protecting, like letting the self get too close to people or over-performing to the point of perfectionism and burnout.
- The Exiles: These are parts of your personality that have been shut away out of pain, fear, shame, or guilt. For example, the part of you that still holds on to the betrayal and pain of being bullied as a kid would be considered an “Exile” part. The Manager works to actively suppress the exile, and it can be painful to think or experience the exile. However, doing so is an important part of IFS. The Exiles are often a result of trauma or childhood experiences.
- The Firefighters: When the exiles do get out and release all their pent-up trauma, anxiety, depression, shame, and guilt, the Firefighter's role is to contain the trauma and “douse the flames” as quickly as possible. This could be through substance abuse, self-harm, or dissociation, to name a few examples.
To some people, personalizing aspects of your personality, behavior, and coping mechanisms is really helpful. It can give you space for self-compassion and self-understanding.
What Happens in an IFS Therapy Session?
Most IFS systems are guided and structured. The therapist will help guide all the parts of the self towards understanding and healing, eventually allowing the true self to take its place at your helm.
According to Schwarz, the true self exhibited 8 C’s and 5 P’s.
The 8 C’s were:
- calmness
- clarity
- curiosity
- compassion
- confidence
- courage
- creativity
- connectedness
And the 5 P’s were:
- presence
- patience
- perspective
- persistence
- playfulness
By tapping into all 13 of these traits, the true self is able to control the more harmful aspects of its personality and bring harmony to the inner family of the mind.
The process of healing these wounded parts often takes six steps:
- Find: Identifying the part that needs attention.
- Focus: Giving the part your full attention.
- Flesh Out: Describing the part (what it looks and feels like).
- Feel Toward: Discussing any feelings that arise toward that part.
- Befriend: Exploring this part more deeply, finding why it exists, and what it wants.
- Fear: Wondering about what this part fears, and what might happen if its function shifted.
Doing this for all wounded parts will eventually yield the “unburdening” process, as Schwartz coined.
Is Internal Family Systems Therapy For Me? Effectiveness and Limitations
The field of research surrounding IFS is relatively small compared to other scientific therapy methods. Although studies have been done that prove its effectiveness, they were relatively small sample sizes, which limits generalizability.
Also, IFS isn’t for everyone. Using IFS may not be right for you if you have schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder, or delusions/hallucinations.
IFS is considered “non-pathologizing”, which means some IFS practitioners steer away from diagnosing mental health conditions in favor of attempting to heal the damaged parts. While this can be freeing to some people struggling with their mental health, it can be harmful to others. Medication and diagnosis are effective in treating mental health conditions.
It’s best to ask your therapist about their experience with IFS, what other modalities they use, and how they approach IFS to find someone who is a good fit for you. Anecdotally, IFS can be incredibly helpful for people dealing with:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Substance abuse
- Trauma
- Self-Esteem Issues
- Eating Disorders
- Dissociation
- And more!
If you are interested in seeing a therapist who specializes in IFS, talk to Lifebulb’s support team. We can get you matched with a therapist near you. Alternatively, you can browse our list of therapists near you to find someone who meets your needs.
