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The Ultimate Guide to Couples Therapy: What it is, Who Needs it, and How it Can Help

couples therapy

Couples therapy is a type of talk therapy for couples instead of individuals. These couples could be newlyweds, freshly dating, old married folks, premarital couples, and everyone in between. Couples therapy is for anyone who is struggling in their relationship, is trying to save their relationship, wants to move their relationship to the next level, or wants monthly “maintenance” on their relationship to make sure everything is still headed in the right direction.

There are a myriad of reasons to try couples therapy. This article will walk you through getting started with couples therapy from beginning to end. 

What is Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy or couples counseling is a type of therapy used to improve romantic relationships through brief solution-focused sessions. The number of sessions varies from couple to couple depending on various factors including the types of issues they are facing. On average, a couple needs around 10-14 sessions, with an average number of sessions being 12. In each session, couples therapists will get to the root of the differences, build conflict management skills, and foster greater intimacy and trust.

Does My Relationship Need Couples Therapy?

Anyone can come to couples therapy. Your relationship is not “broken” or “doomed” for seeking couples therapy. Plenty of couples choose to seek couples therapy because they’re going through a difficult life transition, are preparing to marry, or want to deepen their connection. For the couples that find therapy because of a miscommunication, betrayal, hurt, or disconnection, there’s no shame in that either. All relationships have their ups and downs. In fact, researchers have coined the phrase “crisis stage” or the “seven-year itch” to describe the common phenomenon of relationships growing apart after 5-7 years.

Couples therapy can help your relationship stay on its feet and help it backup if it’s taken a tumble. Your relationship could benefit from couples therapy if you:

Reasons a couple might seek couples counseling:

  1. Communication issues: Couples may struggle to effectively communicate with each other, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. Couples counseling can provide tools and strategies to improve communication and understanding.
  2. Broken trust: Trust is a crucial component of any relationship. Couples seeking counseling may be dealing with trust issues, such as infidelity or breaches of trust, and may need assistance in rebuilding trust and intimacy.
  3. Financial stress: Financial conflicts and stress can take a toll on a relationship. Couples counseling can help partners work through financial struggles and develop a unified approach to managing their finances.
  4. Intimacy and sexual issues: Difficulties in intimacy and sexual satisfaction can create tension in a relationship. Couples may seek counseling to address these issues, explore underlying reasons, and work towards improving intimacy.
  5. Parenting conflicts: Parenting can be a source of conflict for many couples. Counseling can help parents navigate differing parenting styles and find common ground in raising their children.
  6. Major life changes: Significant life events such as job loss, relocation, or the birth of a child can strain a relationship. Couples counseling can provide support and guidance during these transitions.
  7. Constant Arguing: For couples who can’t stop arguing or for whom every little issue becomes a full-blown argument, couples counseling can be a saving grace. Arguing that often or to that severity is often a sign of a deeper issue, usually one with communication and intimacy. 
  8. Conflicting relationship roles: Relationship roles is a big topic in couples counseling. Who does what, and why? When does that change? Are you happy with the roles you have in your relationship? Often, strife in a relationship occurs because of an imbalance in roles. Couples counseling will seek to correct this imbalance. 

Remember, seeking couples counseling is a positive step towards understanding and improving the relationship. Professional couples therapists can provide a safe and supportive environment to address these issues and work towards a healthier, happier partnership. If you or someone you know is considering couples counseling, it's important to reach out to a qualified therapist who can help navigate these challenges and support the journey to a brighter, more fulfilling relationship.

Benefits of Couples Therapy

There are a variety of benefits of undergoing relationship counseling some of which we have discussed already in parts above. Let’s now put the spotlight on the benefits and review them for more clarity. So here are the benefits of undergoing relationship counseling: 

The benefits of couples counseling are directly related to the work you and your partner put in: Are you ready to face your behavior and change? Are you excited to work together again? Do you want to change? These are questions you should answer before your session.

Is Couples Therapy Effective?

Yes! Couples counseling is highly effective, with best estimates putting it at around 70% of couples who leave couples counseling happier. 

Myths of Couples Therapy

When couples counseling started back in the 1920s, a social stigma got attached to it that only grew with time. These myths may sound familiar; you may have even said them to your partner yourself. It’s understandable to have doubts and fears about couples counseling, but don’t let those fears stop you from building a healthy, happy relationship. 

Myth 1: Couples counseling is for people seeking a divorce from their partners
False. You can see a therapist even if things are going well, and you want to just make your relationship stronger so that it can stand the test of time. 

Myth 2: Couples counseling encourages divorce
False. Couples counseling’s primary goal is twofold: to ensure relational and individual health. Although sometimes a divorce or breaking up is the most healthy option, a good couples counselor will never tell you to do anything. Instead, they will give you the skills to make your own informed decision. 

Myth 3: Couples therapy will make everything worse.
False. Couples therapy requires open and honest conversation about our deeply held thoughts and opinions. This can be upsetting to some couples, but a good couples counselor will help you work through it and come out healthier and happier. 

Myth 4: Couples therapy is expensive.
False. Couples counseling is covered by most health insurance, with copays between $30-$50. 

Myth 5: Couples counseling is a time-consuming process.
True and False. Most couples only need 12 sessions or about 3 months of couples therapy. In the long run, that is a small price to pay for relationship stability. However, it is important to put in the time not only at your couples therapy office but at home to practice the skills you are learning as well.

How to Start Couples Therapy

Starting couples therapy can be a stressful process. Here are some steps to clear things up and set you down the right path. 

  1. Discuss your goals with your partner: Ideally, you will both agree to go to couples therapy; couples counseling is always more effective when both partners are 100% in. Ask your partner what they think the most pressing issue is and their goals for couples therapy. 
  2. Find the right therapist for your needs: Consider age, race, experience, gender, therapy modalities, price, and in-person vs online therapy. (Here’s a list of tips to find a good therapist.)
  3. Find a time that works for you both: You’ll want to find a time and stick to it, so block out a time that works for both of you. 
  4. Fill out necessary paperwork: There will likely be intake paperwork to fill out regarding medical histories. Try to fill this paperwork out before your first session so that your first counseling session can be focused on you and your relationship. 
  5. Set goals with your therapist and each other: Your counselor will guide you in setting achievable targets. These will be the goals of the treatment and are most effective when you all agree. 

Couples Counseling at Lifebulb

If you’re ready to start couples counseling, Lifebulb can help. We have couples counselors across the U.S. who are licensed, experienced, and able to accept clients today. We accept most major health insurance and have an affordable self-pay rate. 

Don’t wait for it to get worse; seek couples counseling today. 

Find Your Therapist

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