Nov 20, 2023
What is ROCD? Is it the same as OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)? How does it affect an individual? Find out all the answers here!
Humans are social creatures, so most humans must have strong connections. However, maintaining solid connections requires much work and effort because relationships are often complex. It is especially true when we talk about romantic relationships, and we even witness a lot of couples go into Couples Therapy to improve their relationships. A lot goes for a relationship between a couple to thrive.
In a survey from MidAmerica Nazarene University done with 1000 participants, 49% said they have, at some point in time, attended Couples Therapy or Marriage Counseling.
Various psychological, physical, and societal factors constantly challenge romantic relationships. Psychological challenges between couples may be individually based or may emerge due to individual issues of mental health.
Given the complex nature of relationships, it is natural that sometimes couples go through arguments and fights. However, couples in a romantic relationship may sometimes show signs of obsession. Not simply an obsession but one accompanied by all-consuming doubts and overwhelming worries.
In this blog, we will delve deeper into what ROCD is, its symptoms, its impact on relationships, Relationship OCD treatments, and coping mechanisms.
According to the International OCD Foundation, around 2 to 3 million individuals in the United States have OCD.
What is ROCD?
ROCD, or Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder that mainly occurs in romantic relationships. Individuals dealing with ROCD may constantly doubt their relationship. They may constantly question the fundamentals of their relationship if there is enough love between them and their partner.
These doubts even extend to the point where they may doubt their love for their partner and vice versa. They constantly may require reassurance regarding their feelings, their partner's feelings, and the relationship as a whole.
These doubts often lead to intrusive and disruptive thoughts, negatively impacting relationships. ROCD can affect an individual so unpleasantly that they can neither find peace by leaving the relationship nor by staying in the relationship. When they attempt to end the relationship, they are overwhelmed with anxiety. By staying in the relationship, however, they are haunted by continuous doubts regarding the relationship.
Such intrusive thoughts are frequently followed by compulsive behaviors aimed at neutralizing the feared consequence of the intrusions and temporarily relieving the anxiety caused by the obsessions. Rather than decreasing the frequency of distress caused by obsessions, attempts to suppress or neutralize obsessions increase it.
As with any obsessive-compulsive disorder, individuals are constantly haunted by distressing and unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that interfere with a person's life. Often, this kind of behavior may be commonly experienced as contradicting a person's beliefs and values.
Relationship OCD may not always be apparent to couples since a hint of obsession and fights resulting from it are usually considered normal in any relationship. Couples may even be experiencing ROCD symptoms, and they would still be unable to point out the issue. It is only by seeking professional help in the form of Couples Therapy that they would learn about the primary issue of ROCD.
Relationship OCD Symptoms
Individuals with ROCD are mostly haunted with crippling worries and doubts regarding their relationship. Sometimes, they may even experience obsessions similar to the ones they may have felt in their past relationships. They may struggle with repetitive thoughts, which may be intrusive and disruptive.
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As a non-expert, it is not always easy to identify ROCD. Below are some of the most common ROCD symptoms. Couples Therapy may be your resolution if you relate and realize these symptoms with your partner or relationship.
Constant Doubt: Persistent doubts about their relationship, partner, or their own feelings in an individual's mind can be a significant sign of ROCD in an individual. Regardless of how happy a couple is in their relationship, individuals with ROCD will constantly experience these doubts, fears, and worries.
Ex: "Does my partner really love me?"
Intrusive Thoughts: It is a telltale sign of ROCD. Individuals with ROCD can have constant intrusive thoughts regarding potential future challenges of their relationship, flaws in their partner, and even their own flaws. These intrusive thoughts most often end up evolving into other mental health issues, such as anxiety.
Ex: "What if either of us cheats in the future?"
Compulsive Behaviors: Constantly keeping tabs on your partner, their social life, their social media, and other compulsive behaviors such as analyzing conversations may indicate ROCD in an individual.
Ex: "I noticed how my partner said they don't care when discussing potential challenges. They must not love me enough to not care about it."
Seeking Reassurance: If an individual constantly seeks reassurance of their love and relationship from their partner, friends, and family, they may have ROCD. Individuals with ROCD often find temporary relief because of the reassurance.
Ex: "Do you feel like they are the one for me? Do we complement each other well?"
Comparison: They may constantly compare their current relationship to past or idealized relationships, seeking reassurance that they are with the "right" person.
Ex: "My last partner noticed even the slightest change in my behavior. Does my current partner not care about me enough?"
Relationship OCD Triggers & Causes
Science hasn't pinpointed a single cause that may cause ROCD. Experts believe that Relationship OCD may occur as a combination of psychological and biological factors, including hormones and electrical signals going through the brain.
Anybody with ROCD may feel that their obsessions come about without any real cause. However, their thoughts and behaviors are indeed triggered by some triggers, including
- Witnessing seemingly perfect relationships on social media
- Hearing or reading about other people's relationships
- Finding other people attractive when in a relationship,
- Reminiscing about past partners or relationships
- Forming an emotional connection with someone other than your partner
- Presence or absence of their partner in social situations
- Sexual intimacy with their partner
ROCD Impact on Relationships
ROCD can impact an individual and their relationship substantially, causing various problems such as:
- Emotional Strain
- Frequent Arguments
- Low self-esteem
- Misinterpretation of challenges
- Avoidance
- Strained familial relationships
- Strained friendships
- Trust Issues
Relationship Ocd Treatment: How to Cope With ROCD
If any of the partners in a romantic relationship feel like either of them may have ROCD, they can seek professional help. Couples Therapy is one of the best ways to go about coping with Relationship OCD.
A couple may seek Couples Therapy to fix specific relationship issues such as communication issues, intimacy issues, parenting styles, emotional distance, and ROCD, among many others. During a Couples Therapy session, the therapist may employ various tried and tested techniques for ROCD.
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)
ERP is one of the most commonly used therapy techniques for OCD, which involves direct or imagined exposure to objects or situations that trigger obsessions that arouse one's anxiety. With the progression of therapy sessions, exposure to these triggers leads to anxiety until, eventually, exposure arouses little or no anxiety at all. It is a research-based therapy that has proven to show exposure and response prevention can train your brain, significantly reducing the occurrence of OCD symptoms.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is one of the most commonly used techniques in couples therapy. Developed by doctors Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg in the 1980s, the EFT principle lies in attachment theory. It aims to strengthen the connection between two people by focusing on the emotional bond between a couple and the following communication pattern. Emotionally Focused Therapy aids in coping with ROCD as it helps couples understand emotionally and develop more open communication channels.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT is a type of psychotherapy that is widely used to treat several mental health issues. CBT combines two approaches: the theoretical approach, which understands the negative thought patterns, and the cognition approach, which focuses on the behavioral aspects. The former helps understand the hidden emotions of individuals with ROCD, while the latter helps change their habitual behavioral patterns.
Mindfulness-Based Therapy
Mindfulness-based therapy involves training individuals with certain mindfulness practices to increase their internal and external awareness. As one gets in tune with the state of one's internal mind and the external world, it becomes easier to understand the emotions being felt at any given moment. This substantially helps individuals with ROCD in identifying triggers and better managing the symptoms.
Conclusion
Relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder (ROCD) is a challenging mental health issue that brings negativity and other disturbances in a relationship. Individuals with ROCD may even sometimes develop other mental health issues such as chronic anxiety and depression. While it is not always easy to identify ROCD, looking carefully at the frequent signs may help you recognize it. Once you see apparent signs of ROCD, going for Couples Therapy might be the right next move. Only a professional intervention can identify the underlying issues and hence help bring change in the responses and actions of the individual with ROCD.
Lifebulb offers a myriad of services when it comes to Mental Health issues. With its staff of certified and experienced counselors, Lifebulb is effectively providing both online and offline mental health assistance throughout the United States. Some standard counseling services at Lifebulb include Depression Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Couples Therapy, Anxiety Counseling, and Family Counseling, among others. If you sense that you or someone you know needs professional help for any mental health issue, connect with a counselor today.
