Feb 12, 2025
Relationships are seen as the pinnacle of success in modern-day society. Movies, social media, and general consensus seems to push the message that the greatest goal in life is to fall in love and be in a romantic relationship with someone.
Science shows that this just isn’t true.
Single people aren’t sadder, and people in relationships aren’t happier. In fact, being single (when done right) can lead to lasting happiness and life satisfaction. This article will show you why and how to achieve joy when single.
Are There Any Benefits to Being Single?
Research has consistently shown that relationships are vital to our mental health. People who have deep, meaningful connections are more likely to be happy and have higher life satisfaction, and are less likely to develop mental illnesses.
Importantly, these relationships don’t have to be of the romantic, monogamous kind. They can be with friends, relatives, coworkers, and everyone in between. Despite what modern society may tell us, the best relationship is not always the kind that ends in marriage.
Research shows that single people are more likely to have friends, visit their family, and hang out with people outside of their home. This creates a sustainable source of happiness that will grow with them.
In today’s society, more people are realizing the benefits of being single. Pew Research found that 38% of adults are unmarried and around half of the current singles don’t want to be in a relationship. Why? 44% said it’s because they like the benefits of being single. Benefits which include:
- Having more time for themselves
- Being able to focus on their goals
- Not having anyone else dictate their actions
In general, people who are happy with their singleness tend to prioritize personal freedom, independence, creativity, and nonconformity.
How to Cope with Being Single
Maybe you aren’t single by choice and are struggling with the loneliness that can come with not having a relationship. This is understandable! There are countless other people in your position who have found happiness in being single. Here are some steps to cope with being single.
- Change your perspective.
There is a common misconception that if you are single you have “lost” the game, and that you are automatically in an undesired position. Ask yourself if this is true for you. Also, consider the alternatives: 50% of marriages end in a divorce, and research shows that a bad relationship is worse than no relationship at all. You do not have less value being single.
- Make goals.
You’ve heard about being single to “work on yourself” or “find yourself”, but what do these things actually mean? For one, relationships take up a lot of time. The Gottman’s, leading couples researchers and therapists, say you should have at least 6 hours of intentional time together every week. Other studies say couples spend an average 2.5 hours together every day, or spend around 70% of their time together and 30% apart. These statistics show the variability of relationships, but they demonstrate an important point: when you're in a relationship, a lot of time goes into that relationship. This means when you’re single, you have all that free time to do whatever you want. Make goals, develop new hobbies, and invest in friendships.
- Put the phone down.
Comparison is an easy way to spiral. Remember that social media is always putting the best foot forward. Your mental health may benefit from going on a social media diet. Relationships are hard work and can hold just as much joy or sadness as being single can. Instead of comparing yourself to others, get out there and engage in other relationships.
- Invest in other relationships.
There is a misconception that romantic relationships are better than anything else. Friendships and even familial ties are frequently left to fade away in light of a strong romantic connection. This isn’t healthy, however, and research has found that married couples who don’t have friends are often less happy than single people. When you’re single, it’s the perfect time to build a strong foundation of other relationships. Make friends, join social groups, and go to events.
- Figure out what you want.
Instead of jumping head-first into the first relationship that comes your way, take your single time as a chance to figure out what you want. What type of relationship are you looking for? What kind of partner do you want to find? What type of partner do you want to be? Do you want kids? Are you happy with where you live or do you want to move? Does your partner’s finances matter to you? What values do you want your partner to have? It’s better to figure these things out now before you’re in a relationship than when you’re in a relationship that is incompatible. When you start dating again, you can ask these potent questions on a first date to ensure compatibility.
- Get a professional massage, go to the nail salon, or get a haircut.
Physical touch is an important part of some people’s love languages that can be difficult to get without having a physically intimate relationship. Going to get your nails and hair done or a massage can help bridge the gap. Also, it is a natural social interaction and can make you feel more confident.
- Start a new hobby.
Starting a new hobby not only engages your mind, it puts you in new social situations. With a hobby, you can attend group events, connect with other like-minded people, and be in low-stress social situations. Plus, you can meet new people! You might be surprised how easy it is to make friends and even a romantic connection when you already have something in common.
- Take care of yourself.
Make sure you’re getting outside, exercising, sleeping well, and eating healthy. Taking care of your physical self will go a long way in your mental health and combatting loneliness. Read our guide on how to make a self-care plan, plus get access to three unique self care plan templates!
How Do I Accept That I Am Single?
It’s one thing to cope with being single and another thing entirely to accept it. A lot of people take being single personally; they think it must be a personal flaw that they can’t find a partner. But this isn’t true. There is a large amount of luck, chance, and good timing that comes with finding someone to form an intimate relationship with.
To accept being single, work on your self-esteem. Journal, positive affirmation, overcoming challenges, learning new things, and therapy are all ways you can develop good self-esteem.
If your goal is to find a relationship, understand that you don’t need a relationship to be happy or fulfilled. If you can like yourself before you’re in a relationship, not only are you more likely to find one, you’re more likely to be fulfilled in it.
If you are struggling with loneliness or being single, talking to a therapist can help. They can work on self esteem issues, loneliness, communication skills, and any anxiety, depression, or other mental health concern that is preventing you from interacting with others the way you want to.
For more information, contact Lifebulb’s support team or browse our list of therapists near you.
