Marriage and Family Therapy in Edison

Professional Coaching for Establishing Family Boundaries

Edison is home to many multigenerational homes and tight families that include in-laws, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins. Managing boundaries while remaining a close family unit can be difficult. Edison’s couples and family counselors can help with these complicated family dynamics.

Couples Counselors Specializing in Family Dynamics

You love your family, but you also need them to give you a little bit of space. We understand. Our in-person Edison marriage and family therapists are just 8 minutes off the Garden State Highway. For online family dynamics therapy, you can see any one of our 124 New Jersey therapists.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries With In-Laws and Family

4.5% of NJ families live in multi-generational households, higher than the national average. In Edison, living with grandparents, in-laws, and extended families is even more likely. Edison’s high cost of living drives many families to stick together under one roof. We also have a large population of Asian families, who are historically more likely to live in multi-generational homes. The culture around multigenerational living is rooted in a deep respect for a family’s elders and an emphasis on strong community. There are many benefits of multigenerational homes, including increased life expectancy, significant financial savings, and far less social isolation and loneliness. But it’s not without its problems. When living in a multigenerational home, setting boundaries with families becomes even more difficult.

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How to Set Healthy Boundaries With In-Laws and Family

Signs You Need Stronger Boundaries with Parents

Having a close relationship with your parents or in-laws is a wonderful thing. But even close relationships need boundaries.

You feel guilty saying no.
You dread seeing them.
They interfere with your life a lot.
You feel like you have to make them happy.

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How Can I Set Healthy Boundaries with In-Laws Without Causing Family Tension?

You love and respect your family. You just need a little bit of space. Here are some steps you can take to establish healthy boundaries within an extended family.

Understand the why behind your requests. Do you need more space? Alone time? Are you feeling suffocated by the constant intervening? Do you need to be able to say no when you don’t have the time or energy? Instead of honing in on one specific example, take a step back and consider what you hope to gain from the boundary as a whole. Once you know what you’re aiming for, coming up with specific boundaries and examples to share with the family will become a lot easier and more productive. A family therapist can help you get to the root of this desire and flesh out an actionable, achievable goal for your boundaries.

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If you are setting boundaries with in-laws, it’s important to talk to your spouse about it first. They grew up with your in-laws and likely have important insight into their actions and responses. Also, it’s important to have a unified front when establishing boundaries, especially with in-laws who may push back or ignore boundaries in the future. Establishing family boundaries as a unit instead of an individual gives the boundaries strength and helps protect you. Should someone get frustrated at the boundary, you don’t have to take their reaction on your own. Talking to an Edison couples therapist can help you and your spouse get on the same page and establish strong boundaries as a team.

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How you communicate the boundary is just as important as the boundary itself. Below are some healthy communication tips, but we recommend you talk with a family therapist to learn more and practice these skills. Good communication doesn’t always happen naturally, especially if you’re talking to someone from a different culture or generation, where there may be unspoken communication “rules” that you don’t know about.
- Stay calm and communicate clearly.
- Provide specific examples and expectations.
- Use “I” statements to describe how you’re feeling.
- Don’t accuse or blame.
- Be open to multiple discussions, but be strict on what boundaries you are holding.

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Possibly the most important part of establishing boundaries is the follow-through. If someone crosses your boundary, then what? If nothing happens, then it wasn’t a boundary. Consequences don’t have to be severe; even just a conversation after can be enough. But hold the line on your boundaries and follow through with pre-established consequences. Talk to an Edison family therapist about what boundaries, follow-through, and consequences should look like. Striking the right balance between follow-through and grace can be hard, but doing so will help maintain peace within the family unit.

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Online Therapy That Supports Setting Boundaries with Family Members

Boundaries don’t take away from the love a family has. If anything, boundaries allow that love to truly shine. Learn how to set boundaries with family and in-laws through talking to one of our Edison Marriage and Family therapists. We offer online and in-person sessions with appointments available as soon as tomorrow. We accept most major insurances, including Blue Cross Blue Shield and United Healthcare plans.

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