7 Signs You’re In a Situationship (And What to Do About It)

Situationship vs Friends with Benefits vs Long-Term Relationship

When posed with the question “Are you in a relationship?”, more and more people are inclined to answer “It’s complicated.” 

The options for romantic and sexual connections are no longer limited to taken or single. Although a long-term, exclusive, romantic, and sexual relationship is the path many people choose, it’s not the only one. 

Neither are people left with the option of a one-night stand, hook-up, or “booty call”. A situationship is different from a standard hook-up because it involves an element of emotional, cognitive, and romantic connection.

A situationship is also different from a friend with benefits. The hallmark of friends with benefits is the lack of emotional intimacy. There’s no romance—you’re just friends. A situationship removes this barrier and makes it possible for people to experience physical intimacy and emotional connection without long-term commitments. 

For some, this is the perfect solution. For others, it’s a disaster waiting to happen.

What is a Situationship?

The Situationship is growing in popularity and validity. In 2022, Tinder saw a 49% increase in the term appearing in users’ bios and found that young singles were “owning the situationship as a valid relationship status."

Somewhere in between a casual hook-up and a committed relationship, a situationship is a relationship that lacks definition and commitment. It's somewhere in between friendship and a romantic relationship. People in a situationship might spend time together, go on dates, and even be physically intimate without being in an exclusive, committed relationship. It's like being in a relationship but without any labels.

Although situationships are undoubtedly becoming a thing, people are split on whether or not that is a good thing. On one hand, situationships give people a chance to explore new ideas and people without being committed, have fun, and connect on many different levels. On the other hand, situationships can be confusing and emotionally taxing. They often lack clarity and can leave one person feeling more invested than the other. 

Two things are key when it comes to navigating a situationship: communication and self-awareness. 

It’s important to establish boundaries and ensure that both parties are on the same page about the nature of the relationship. It’s okay if you don’t know what you want—if you’re exploring, trying something new, or just having fun. It’s also okay to want more and to ask for it. And it’s okay if your wants change throughout the situationship. The important thing is to be aware of your wants and needs and to communicate them with your situationship partner. 

At the end of the day, a healthy relationship—whether it’s a hook-up, committed long-term, or a situationship—is built on mutual respect, communication, and a willingness to define the relationship together. Remember, you deserve a relationship that meets your emotional needs and provides the security you desire.

Can a Situationship urn into a relationship?

Situationship and Mental Health

Situationships can have a significant impact on mental health. The uncertainty, lack of commitment, and ambiguity that often come with situationships can lead to feelings of anxiety, frustration, and even depression.

One of the main reasons situationships can be detrimental to mental health is the lack of clarity and security. Without clear boundaries and defined roles, individuals may feel unsure about where they stand in the relationship. This uncertainty can create a constant state of stress and anxiety, which can have adverse effects on mental well-being. If you are experiencing these mental health issues while in what you think is a situationship, it might be time to reexamine what you want out of your connection: 

• Constant stress or anxiety 
• Loneliness even when you’re hanging out with them 
• Unsupported and disconnected
• Persistent feelings of sadness
• Low self-esteem 
• Self-doubt
• Depression 
• Questioning your worth as a partner

Not all relationships will make you feel like this. If you decide that you want more than what a situationship, communicate that with your partner. 

Situationship and Mental Health

Do situationships affect mental health? Absolutely. Are they good or bad for mental health? That depends. 

As a whole, a situationship is neither good nor bad. It all depends on what you need from a relationship and if your needs are being communicated and received well.

There's constant low commitment.

A situationship can bring the warmth of human connection without any of the strings attached (theoretically). This means situationships can bring a higher quantity of canceled plans, fewer dates, and low commitments. They won’t necessarily remember that it’s your birthday and they aren’t expected to plan a date every week. The connection is there for convenience, but don’t expect it to be there whenever you need it.

They are emotionally unavailable and inconsistent.

Maybe they’re hung up on their ex, have too much going on, or are working on themselves. Regardless of their reasoning—they're emotionally unavailable. They aren’t showing you the love and attention associated with long-term relationships, and are more likely to put their needs above yours. Importantly, situationships aren’t mean-spirited or unfair. Sometimes, people will tell you when they’re emotionally unavailable. (Believe them when they tell you this!)

There's a lack of communication.

As freeing as the lack of commitment can be, it can also come with a lack of communication on all levels. Although lack of communication as to the relationship’s nature is the biggest example, situationships often find themselves being uncommunicative about the day-to-day as well. They might not talk to you for days on end, cancel at the last minute, and not keep you in the loop about important life events.

Your relationship isn't growing naturally.

When you date someone, there’s a natural progression through milestones. You go on a few dates, maybe you take them home, you introduce them to your friends, and then your family, you slowly share the hidden things you don’t tell anyone, you take them home for a minor holiday, and then a big holiday. With a situationship, there is none of this natural progression, no matter how long the situationship has been occurring. Situationships are rarely introduced to friends and never introduced to family. Conversations are kept at surface level, and you’re definitely not driving back to their hometown with them.

They might be seeing other people.

Another hallmark of a situationship is the lack of exclusivity. The idea is that since you’ve never had the Talk and you haven’t defined your relationship, no feelings will be hurt if you talk to, sleep with, or date other people. Unfortunately, the human heart isn’t quite so simple. If your feelings for your situationship have progressed from “Just a fun time” to “I might actually like them”, your emotions won’t care if technically it’s okay you’re seeing other people. This is where being in a situationship can get messy.

There’s no talk about future plans.

The most you’ll plan a date is in a week or two in advance. There’s no talk about when whatever it is you have with this person might end or if it’s a forever thing. This differentiates a situationship from a fling, which, although shares a loose definition and commitment, usually has a definite end date. A summer fling, or a vacation fling, is different from a situationship with someone who lives in the same city and has no plans of moving away.

You’ve never had a DTR.

DTR stands for Define The Relationship and can happen at any point in any relationship. However, a hallmark of a situationship is the distinct absence of a DTR. One of the most attractive qualities of a situationship is its label-free existence. Human connection, without the restriction of labels.

7 Signs You’re in a Situationship

The first step to deciding if a situationship is for you is to figure out if you’re in a situationship. The easiest way to do this is to simply ask. Ask questions like “What do you feel like we are?”, “Where do you see this going in the future?”, or “What are you looking for?”.

Remember, believe what they tell you. If they say they’re looking for something casual and short-term, assume they want that until they say otherwise. 

Besides asking them, there are signs you can look for to help determine if you are in a situationship or not.

Relationship Therapy

If you find yourself in situationship after situationship or have caught feelings for someone who wants to keep things casual, or are unable to break free from a toxic situationship, relationship therapy can help. 

At Lifebulb, our relationship therapy is individual therapy that focuses on your interpersonal connections: how you relate to and form bonds with others. Our licensed relationship therapists can help you form healthier connections that are truly what you want. Give our team a call today to find a therapist near you.

Find Your Therapist

How to End a Situationship

You might have sensed a theme in this article: When it comes to situationships, communication is key. 

Whether situationships are perfect for you or leave you wanting more, communicating your needs and thoughts with your partner is paramount. 

If you’ve decided that you are in a situationship that you don’t want to be in anymore, it is as easy (and hard) as communicating that. The good news is that a situationship was always low commitment; you’re not breaking up, you’re going separate ways. Depending on your reasonings, you could say something like: 

• “I’ve really loved getting to know you, but we’re growing in separate directions.”
• “I’m looking for something a little more committed and long-term.” 
• “We want different things, and that’s okay.”

Try not to ghost them. It can be tempting, but leaving them without any prior communication does more harm than it’s worth. A simple conversation, whether over the phone, text, or in-person will give you both the closure you need to move on to the next phase of your life.

Can a Situationship Turn into a Relationship?

Short answer: Yes. It is possible for a situationship to turn into a relationship. However, don’t count on it. As much as we all want to be the person who changed them, there’s no guarantee that we will. What’s more, we won’t change them unless they also want to be changed. 

If you go into a situationship hoping it’ll become a relationship, you’ll likely get yourself hurt. However, with the proper communication, it is entirely possible a situationship blooms into a long-term, committed relationship.

Situationship and Mental Health

Situationships can have a significant impact on mental health. The uncertainty, lack of commitment, and ambiguity that often come with situationships can lead to feelings of anxiety, frustration, and even depression.

One of the main reasons situationships can be detrimental to mental health is the lack of clarity and security. Without clear boundaries and defined roles, individuals may feel unsure about where they stand in the relationship. This uncertainty can create a constant state of stress and anxiety, which can have adverse effects on mental well-being. If you are experiencing these mental health issues while in what you think is a situationship, it might be time to reexamine what you want out of your connection: 

• Constant stress or anxiety 
• Loneliness even when you’re hanging out with them 
• Unsupported and disconnected
• Persistent feelings of sadness
• Low self-esteem 
• Self-doubt
• Depression 
• Questioning your worth as a partner

Not all relationships will make you feel like this. If you decide that you want more than what a situationship, communicate that with your partner. 

Situationship and Mental Health

Do situationships affect mental health? Absolutely. Are they good or bad for mental health? That depends. 

As a whole, a situationship is neither good nor bad. It all depends on what you need from a relationship and if your needs are being communicated and received well.

There's constant low commitment.

A situationship can bring the warmth of human connection without any of the strings attached (theoretically). This means situationships can bring a higher quantity of canceled plans, fewer dates, and low commitments. They won’t necessarily remember that it’s your birthday and they aren’t expected to plan a date every week. The connection is there for convenience, but don’t expect it to be there whenever you need it.

They are emotionally unavailable and inconsistent.

Maybe they’re hung up on their ex, have too much going on, or are working on themselves. Regardless of their reasoning—they're emotionally unavailable. They aren’t showing you the love and attention associated with long-term relationships, and are more likely to put their needs above yours. Importantly, situationships aren’t mean-spirited or unfair. Sometimes, people will tell you when they’re emotionally unavailable. (Believe them when they tell you this!)

There's a lack of communication.

As freeing as the lack of commitment can be, it can also come with a lack of communication on all levels. Although lack of communication as to the relationship’s nature is the biggest example, situationships often find themselves being uncommunicative about the day-to-day as well. They might not talk to you for days on end, cancel at the last minute, and not keep you in the loop about important life events.

Your relationship isn't growing naturally.

When you date someone, there’s a natural progression through milestones. You go on a few dates, maybe you take them home, you introduce them to your friends, and then your family, you slowly share the hidden things you don’t tell anyone, you take them home for a minor holiday, and then a big holiday. With a situationship, there is none of this natural progression, no matter how long the situationship has been occurring. Situationships are rarely introduced to friends and never introduced to family. Conversations are kept at surface level, and you’re definitely not driving back to their hometown with them.

They might be seeing other people.

Another hallmark of a situationship is the lack of exclusivity. The idea is that since you’ve never had the Talk and you haven’t defined your relationship, no feelings will be hurt if you talk to, sleep with, or date other people. Unfortunately, the human heart isn’t quite so simple. If your feelings for your situationship have progressed from “Just a fun time” to “I might actually like them”, your emotions won’t care if technically it’s okay you’re seeing other people. This is where being in a situationship can get messy.

There’s no talk about future plans.

The most you’ll plan a date is in a week or two in advance. There’s no talk about when whatever it is you have with this person might end or if it’s a forever thing. This differentiates a situationship from a fling, which, although shares a loose definition and commitment, usually has a definite end date. A summer fling, or a vacation fling, is different from a situationship with someone who lives in the same city and has no plans of moving away.

You’ve never had a DTR.

DTR stands for Define The Relationship and can happen at any point in any relationship. However, a hallmark of a situationship is the distinct absence of a DTR. One of the most attractive qualities of a situationship is its label-free existence. Human connection, without the restriction of labels.

7 Signs You’re in a Situationship

The first step to deciding if a situationship is for you is to figure out if you’re in a situationship. The easiest way to do this is to simply ask. Ask questions like “What do you feel like we are?”, “Where do you see this going in the future?”, or “What are you looking for?”.

Remember, believe what they tell you. If they say they’re looking for something casual and short-term, assume they want that until they say otherwise. 

Besides asking them, there are signs you can look for to help determine if you are in a situationship or not.

Situationship vs Friends with Benefits vs Long-Term Relationship

When posed with the question “Are you in a relationship?”, more and more people are inclined to answer “It’s complicated.” 

The options for romantic and sexual connections are no longer limited to taken or single. Although a long-term, exclusive, romantic, and sexual relationship is the path many people choose, it’s not the only one. 

Neither are people left with the option of a one-night stand, hook-up, or “booty call”. A situationship is different from a standard hook-up because it involves an element of emotional, cognitive, and romantic connection.

A situationship is also different from a friend with benefits. The hallmark of friends with benefits is the lack of emotional intimacy. There’s no romance—you’re just friends. A situationship removes this barrier and makes it possible for people to experience physical intimacy and emotional connection without long-term commitments. 

For some, this is the perfect solution. For others, it’s a disaster waiting to happen.

What is a Situationship?

The Situationship is growing in popularity and validity. In 2022, Tinder saw a 49% increase in the term appearing in users’ bios and found that young singles were “owning the situationship as a valid relationship status."

Somewhere in between a casual hook-up and a committed relationship, a situationship is a relationship that lacks definition and commitment. It's somewhere in between friendship and a romantic relationship. People in a situationship might spend time together, go on dates, and even be physically intimate without being in an exclusive, committed relationship. It's like being in a relationship but without any labels.

Although situationships are undoubtedly becoming a thing, people are split on whether or not that is a good thing. On one hand, situationships give people a chance to explore new ideas and people without being committed, have fun, and connect on many different levels. On the other hand, situationships can be confusing and emotionally taxing. They often lack clarity and can leave one person feeling more invested than the other. 

Two things are key when it comes to navigating a situationship: communication and self-awareness. 

It’s important to establish boundaries and ensure that both parties are on the same page about the nature of the relationship. It’s okay if you don’t know what you want—if you’re exploring, trying something new, or just having fun. It’s also okay to want more and to ask for it. And it’s okay if your wants change throughout the situationship. The important thing is to be aware of your wants and needs and to communicate them with your situationship partner. 

At the end of the day, a healthy relationship—whether it’s a hook-up, committed long-term, or a situationship—is built on mutual respect, communication, and a willingness to define the relationship together. Remember, you deserve a relationship that meets your emotional needs and provides the security you desire.