7 Signs Your Marriage Is in Trouble | How to fix a broken marriage

7 Signs Your Marriage isn’t Working

Not every marriage is perfect, and every relationship is bound to have its ups and downs and conflicts. So how can you tell that your marriage is going down a bad path?  

Every person has a different breaking point when it comes to relationship dysfunction and conflict. Knowing where you draw the line is important, so you don’t comromise on any of your strongly held boundaries. 

These seven signs of a failing marriage are not a guarantee of doom; rather they are signs you might need to put a little work in your relationship before you drift apart from your spouse completely. 

1. Lack of Intimacy

Failing marriages can be challenging to identify, but often a lack of physical and emotional intimacy is a tangible sign that something isn't quite right. Emotional disconnection can cause strain on the relationship, leading to heightened stress levels, hostility, arguments, and low self-esteem. 

Because this type of breakdown in relationships happens gradually over time, it’s important to check in with yourself and your partner often. Are you happy with the levels of emotional intimacy? What about physical intimacy? If you’re having trouble reigning intimacy in a marriage, read this guide on how to cultivate healthy marital intimacy. 

2. Control Issues

When you start to feel controlled in a relationship, things start to fall apart. Control issues aren’t just a sign of potential abuse in a relationship, it’s a manipulation tactic and a lack of trust and respect that could lead to the downfall of the relationship. 

This control may be extreme and can restrict access to money or financial information, request access to your phone or private messages, choose who you can and cannot speak with, and obstruct opportunities.

If you are being controlled in your relationship, seek help. Let trusted loved ones know and talk to a therapist about next steps. If you think you might be in a manipulative relationship, read these other signs of manipulation. Remember that your safety is the number one priority.

3. Lack of Communication

Communication can be challenging, especially regarding such a complex topic as marriage. As any relationship progresses, communication becomes an increasingly important part of ensuring everything runs smoothly. Unfortunately, a lack of communication can be a warning sign that your marriage may not be healthy. 

Whether it's due to differences in opinions or just a lack of understanding between partners, failing to communicate can easily lead to resentment and disharmony building up beneath the surface. It's essential to keep those lines of communication open if you want your marriage to succeed in the future.

4. Secret Keeping and Dishonesty

Keeping secrets can be detrimental to any relationship, especially a marriage. While privacy is also important in a relationship, too many secrets can sink the boat of marriage. 

No one likes feeling left out or that things are going on in their partner's life that they don't know about - it creates insecurity and mistrust. Even if the secret was told for the right reasons, such as protecting your partner from potential hurt or being too proud to ask for help, maintaining secrets will eventually lead to a broken marriage. Both partners need to remain open and vulnerable with each other if they're truly committed to making it last.

5. Affairs

Having an affair is often a sign that a marriage has gone off-track. It can be due to underlying issues such as a lack of communication, a breakdown in trust, or a waning of the spark that once existed between two people. A couple might try to make up for this by seeking outside attention, but this won't fix anything. 

An extramarital affair often comes with guilt and regret, and it's not very likely to lead to different results than an honest conversation would. In that sense, an affair tends to be more destructive than constructive; it can damage relationships within the couple and beyond. Therefore, if marriage troubles are encountered, it's advisable to seek professional help or talk things out with one another - before going down the wrong path of having an affair. (But if you have, there is hope. It is possible to recover from an affair.)

6. Lack of Trust

Trust is an essential part of any healthy relationship, and in a marriage, it can mean the difference between years of joy or abuse. When partners cannot trust each other, words and actions can become painful and damaging. With a lack of trust comes a sense of uneasiness between both parties, as couples question whether their partner is truly honest with them. 

This distance can manifest into further mistreatment or verbal abuse that ruins a marriage before it even has the chance to develop further. Couples need to recognize the signs of broken trust early on to work through the issues together and build an atmosphere of safety for their partnership to flourish.

7. Signs of Abuse

Note: If you are experiencing physical abuse or any emergency, please call 911 and seek emergency help right away. We are not a crisis center, and no information presented here is meant to provide help in a crisis. 

Abuse should not be normal! It's critically important to remember how drastically it can affect a marriage. It doesn't matter if it's verbal, mental, or physical abuse - any form of it is an unmistakable sign that something within the marriage has gone wrong. 

Abuse creates a rift between two people that often can't be overcome, leaving them unable to trust and respect each other. The victims of abuse tend to carry the scars with them for life, which makes it essential that we recognize the warning signs early and take measures to prevent further destruction of the relationship.

These signs of broken marriage need to be addressed and worked on if you are willing to give an honest try to rebuild your relationship. However, communication and un-opinionated support and guidance can help you move in the right direction. Look out for one of the best marriage counselors you can trust to share your concerns.

How To Fix a Broken Marriage

If you're navigating a broken relationship, it's important to approach the situation with understanding and care. Here are some tips to help you work towards healing and repair:

1. Open Communication: Encourage open and honest communication with your partner. Express your feelings and listen to theirs without judgment. Respectful and compassionate dialogue can lay the groundwork for progress.
2. Seek Understanding: Take the time to understand your partner's perspective and the underlying issues that may have led to the relationship's challenges. Empathy and validation can foster connection.
3. Quality Time Together: Dedicate uninterrupted quality time to reconnect with your partner. Engaging in activities you both enjoy can help revive the spark and strengthen your bond.
4. Counseling or Therapy: Consider seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor who can provide a neutral and supportive space to work through challenges and develop healthy communication skills.
5. Forgiveness and Healing: Practice forgiveness, both for yourself and your partner. This process may take time, but it's an essential step in moving forward and fostering a sense of healing.
6. Commitment to Change: Identify areas where both partners can make positive changes and commit to taking proactive steps to address them. Small, consistent efforts can lead to significant improvements.
7. Self-Care: Prioritize self-care and well-being during this challenging time. Taking care of your mental and emotional health is crucial for navigating the complexities of a broken relationship.

Remember, mending a broken relationship takes patience, understanding, and effort from both parties. While not all relationships can be repaired, taking steps towards healing can provide valuable clarity and closure, ultimately guiding you towards a brighter path—whether together or separately.

Also, some relationships shouldn’t be repaired. If your relationship is abusive, manipulative, or harmful, getting out is the right idea. You deserve true love, not the controlling kind.

Can Marriage Therapy Save my Relationship?

You and your spouse used to get along like honey and pancakes but somehow, as time flew by, the vibe between you both, too, became lost in the past. Does this mean it is time for reinforcements in the form of Marriage Therapy? 

Marriage therapy is not guaranteed to save anything, but it can be a vital tool for you and your spouse to use to heal and grow stronger together. 

Acknowledging that you need help is a positive sign. Three principles are required for a healthy relationship: open communication, honesty, and trust. You can re-establish all three with the help of marriage therapy. Counseling for marriage can help: 

• Improve your communication 
• Strengthen the emotional connection between partners 
• Increase teamwork
• Help you be less stressed
• Give you a better perspective
• Help you and your partner learn skills to manage issues better and together

It's a false accusation or myth that Marriage therapy is a one-way trip to divorce or separation. Studies by the American Psychological Association estimated that marriage counseling is effective around 75% of the time. It takes persistence and patience to save a relationship. You must believe in the healing process and give your marriage time to sort itself out—meanwhile, the thought of getting a divorce shouldn't come to mind. 

With Lifebulb, you can find the right professional marriage therapist and the required help anytime and anywhere - in-person or virtual therapy, you name it. 

Marriage Therapy at Lifebulb

Marriage therapy is an essential aid for couples struggling with their marriage. It provides a space to safely address damaging patterns of behavior and thought processes and allows each partner to hear their spouse and understand the gaps. 

Through therapy, couples can banish negative cycles, build healthier boundaries, and become more effective communicators while learning techniques to prevent further occurrences of marriage problems in the future. Through couples counseling, you can break unhealthy behaviors and build healthy relationships.