Cuffing season is a dating trend in which eligible singles form relationships with someone for the winter season. These relationships are usually just for a season and can trend into situationship territory. Therefore, it’s important to have healthy communication, good boundaries, and solid self-esteem.
What is Cuffing Season?
Cuffing Season is the time of year when single people start to yearn for a long-term, stable relationship. The hot summer of flings, situationships, and one-night stands is behind them, and as the weather grows colder, they start to want something more serious and cozy, someone to sip hot chocolate with and catch them when they fall on the ice skating rink.
This is not a bad or malicious desire at all, and neither is the act of cuffing or finding a “winter boyfriend” or “winter girlfriend”. The desire for human connection is natural, and forming closer connections can even help stave off Seasonal Affective Disorder (Winter Depression) and other winter-afflicted mental health dips.
The issues of cuffing season come when the relationship lacks communication and boundaries.
The Holidays can be a hard time for many people, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting some extra human connection to help you through it. Just make sure you’re taking steps to protect yourself and your mental health.
Is Cuffing Season a Real Thing?
Yes, people tend to want a long-term relationship more in the winter. Whether or not those relationships last is a point of contention. Dating app activity spikes during the winter, but so do breakups. At the very least, the winter months seem to be a turbulent time for relationships. This makes communicating and good boundary-setting all the more important.
The Rules to Cuffing Season (to Stay Healthy and Safe)
The first rule of cuffing season is that there aren’t any rules to cuffing season. Like all dating trends, there might be behaviors that are socially accepted and behaviors that aren’t. But that doesn’t mean everyone follows or is even aware of these unspoken rules.
Instead, we recommend making rules and boundaries for yourself that will keep you safe emotionally, financially, and physically.
Relationships can be a wonderful thing that brings people closer together and amplifies mental health. A strong social support system, which can include a close significant other, is a huge protective factor against mental health disorders. However, harm from relationships in the form of emotional, physical, or financial abuse, neglect, and toxic relationships is also far too common. To keep yourself safe, here are 5 rules to follow this cuffing season:
- Understand what you want: Do you really like this person, or do you just think the pictures of you two holding hands in the snow are cute? Both are perfectly fine and reasonable answers, but will likely lead to very different results. Understanding what your expectations and desires for the relationship is will help you communicate and set good boundaries.
- Have a DTR: Cuffing season relationships fall dangerously close to situationships, which tend to have a bad rap for heartbreak. Fortunately, it’s really easy to avoid a situationship by communicating. What do you want out of this relationship? What do they want out of it? If those two things differ, are you okay with them being different? If not, it’s probably better to say goodbye and find someone whose wants are more compatible with yours.
- Set boundaries: The Holidays can be expensive and emotionally taxing. How does your winter partner play into that? Are you introducing them to your family? Buying them Christmas gifts? Moving in together? If you last the whole cuffing season, 5 months is a long time for a relationship. What level of commitment are you willing to give, and how much are you expecting?
- Don’t ghost: If you decide this relationship isn’t for you, talk to them. Ghosting is a behavior detrimental to all parties involved.
- Be okay with being single: A lot of cuffing behavior stems from the belief that being single is morally wrong, a poor reflection on your character, or a personal failure. It’s not! Being single has no less merit than being in a relationship. In fact, being happy and single is better than being unhappy in a relationship that doesn’t fit you. If you’re fighting the urge to lock down with a winter partner this cuffing season, ask yourself why. Are you afraid of being alone? If so, how can you challenge that this winter and form a new, healthy relationship with yourself?
It can be scary being single, especially if you’ve been in relationships most of your life. If you’re facing down the barrel of a cold winter on your own, consider talking to a therapist. They can help you understand why you have the deep urge to be in a relationship and can help you form a healthy relationship with yourself, so you can form healthy relationships with others.
